Saturday, June 2, 2007

New Territory

This past weekend with Sir was very wonderful and new in many ways. This entry is a culmination of three things. my twenty cane strokes, more toilet training and our first step into golden showers. So here goes. lol

In between the time Sir and i saw each other again i earned myself twenty cane strokes through various infractions. Knowing that i was going to get twenty before i even got there made me nervous and yet excited. i have come to realize that not only will i hurt for Sir, but that i want to. So this scenario held a few feelings for me. One of the things i am continuously working on is opening up. i am always trying to reach that space where i can let go and just react. i have a thought, but i will hold off for now i think. Anyways, the twenty cane strokes hurt...a lot. By the time i had counted 11 or 12 i was hoping that the last few would go quickly. Sir let me compose myself before the next strike came and there were even a few times He had to tell me to present myself. That, to the best of my memory, has never happened, at least not that many times. Even though it hurt, i found myself, in some manner, wanting that next stroke. When all was said and done Sir pulled me into His lap and just let me sit there. As i sat there, i cried just a little and just enjoyed the closeness to Sir. Later on, i was standing next to Sir in front of His computer and Sir started lightly smacking my ass where the cane had hit. Lightly at first then with increasing strength. i was not prepared for it in any way and when it started to hurt, i automatically jumped away, saying "ow...ok". Sir gave me The Look and asked me what i was doing....i remember lowering my eyes and saying "i'm sorry for moving away Sir." and moved back to where i was. As soon as i got there Sir gave me a few more swats on my ass. my observation with all of this is that perhaps i reacted more violently i.e. moving away with a comment, than i did while Sir was using the cane. i wonder if i could associate that with mental preparedness??

The other thing that was different this weekend was that Sir had me use the chamber pot every time i had to pee. As the time neared i found myself wondering if i would be able to handle it well, since i didn't the last time. But i did! i am not sure what just clicked in my mind, but when i asked Sir if i may please use the bathroom and He gave permission, i had no hesitation in getting the chamber pot out of His room. He pointed to where He wanted it, which was about 3 feet in front of Him, i knelt over the chamber pot and peed. i wasn't shy or embarrassed, if anything i just did it and was proud that i used my submission to please Sir by doing what He wanted me to do. Yay me! The rest of the weekend using the chamber pot went smoothly and i am very happy for that.

The newest thing that happened this past weekend is Sir and i tried golden showers. The first time this happened, i was kneeling next to Sir's feet when He rather suddenly told me to go kneel in the shower. i got up with no hesitation and went to His bathroom, took off my collar and knelt in His shower. my heart was racing and no words really came to mind. When i looked up at Him, all i could think was how much i trusted Him and how much i wanted to please Him. i just stayed there, breathing. Sir pulled out His cock and i wondered if i should open my mouth as Sir and i have discussed before, but i wasn't sure if i was ready for that and He did not ask me to. As Sir started to pee on me it took about 2 seconds for it to hit me full force that Sir was peeing on me. The first thing i felt was humbled. Not humiliated or gross, just humbled. The next thing that hit was an incredible sense of my submission and at a newer depth i think. As much as i blush as i write this, when Sir peed on my breasts, my nipples got really hard. So i will admit there was a sense of eroticism involved as well. So much in one act. After Sir was done and told me to go ahead and take a shower, as i was bathing, i started to feel a sense of pride. The pride i felt came from the fact i had done what i had ultimately wanted to do and wish to continue to do. As you have read in my blog under "slave thoughts" i wish to be there for Sir in anyway. That includes being there as He pushes His limits and His boundaries and me being there to help if He needs me. Does this mean i have no boundaries? Yes.. i can say that i have no boundaries whatsoever concerning Sir. Knowing that and running that knowledge through my head makes me extremely happy and at peace. The second time Sir peed on me, i had the urge to open my mouth but i didn't. The next time i am with Sir though i think i will try it. Is this something i would like to do again, obviously the answer is yes. So many things and i haven't even gotten to the dinner party Sir hosted. That will be a long entry for sure. lol Long but we had so much fun!


Sir said...

Mostly I am happy and relieved that you are feeling better again. Now that you are I can think back to your visit with great enjoyment and a sense of achievment. Unlike most visits where it is your growth I watch, this time through your submission you gave me the freedom to find new territory of my own. You continue to amaze and please me very much. Sir