Thursday, July 12, 2007


This entry today is about voyeurism and i am discovering that i may very well have a side of me that enjoys that. The reason why i am putting it in terms like that is because i have yet to actually experience watching people do anything sexual in r/l. To be honest i have only watched one real scene from a porn flick and i wasn't looked staged, the reactions not real, which isn't very surprising but for goodness sakes, it was really boring!i got more aroused watching soft porn on Sir has very creatively brought out my exhibitionist side and now i am starting to realize that i have a voyeur side as well. Sir has had me play with myself in front of my mirror so i was watching myself but for some reason it never came across to me as a voyeur activity. It really has been only recently, since Sir has asked me about my fantasies with Him and dallas that i have played with the idea in my head of just watching dallas please Sir in any way. i must admit that i have found the idea of dallas servicing Sir in that manner very erotic and arousing. At first in every fantasy, it was dallas and i with Sir right in the middle or somewhere watching...either way He was definitely involved and He still is. It is just that now sometimes i think about dallas watching me suck Sir's cock (she once said she would enjoy) which hit on my exhibitionist side. Then i started thinking about just watching Sir use her or her servicing Him. my first initial reaction was more along the lines that perhaps would be too intense for me to handle.....but even with that initial reaction, with the images still in my head, a touch of strong arousal came through. It took me a few days to really wrap my head around the fact that i found that very arousing for that was not something i had actually thought about in detail. Now, i think i would love to watch Sir's face as He uses dallas....i must admit that i have always wondered about the look in His eyes when He is using me sexually or when He brings out His canes, crop and other various implements of erotic pain. i do know that whenever He is using me in any way, i can feel His energy and Dominance all around's kind of weird really. If His attitude changes, i can actually feel the intensity change in the air and in His hands. Sir once told me, a while back, that my submission feeds His Dominance and vise versa...that basically it is one big circle and we feed off one another. That could be a very interesting entry i think.....So again the idea of me being allowed to watch Him use dallas does hit an arousal spot with me. The look in His eyes, His voice when He speaks to her, her reactions, gasps and moans, the way He moves around her to do what He wishes, not only feeling that aura of strength and sexuality and Dominance emit from Him, but to actually see i am very aroused with that little mental picture, complete with surround sound. lol Big breath and back on topic. So far the only people i have envisioned watching has been Sir and dallas, i am not sure if i am ready to think of anyone else just yet, even complete strangers. One step at a time. lol Now my head is in the submissive gutter and i've got images. Last night i told Sir about a fantasy that had popped into my head of watching dallas suck His cock on the web-cam. i stuttered, giggled and hesitated when trying to tell Sir but i managed to get it out. i am still working on the whole admitting when i am horny and what my desires and fantasies entail but Sir has been very patient with me. i also told Him about an erotic dream i had the involved all three of us and that was a little bit easier to say...but i still giggled. lol All in all i would have to say that i think exploring my voyeur side with Sir could be a rather interesting and fun part of my journey with Him.