What dreams may come

my visit with rabbit for Sir's birthday is coming up and i am so excited that i am doing happy jumps inside!! lol rabbit is excited albeit rather nervous as well. i can't say that i blame her....i know how nerve-wracking it was the first time i met Sir. my emotions range from nervous to excited, apprehension to excited all mixed in with a high amount of anticipation. i know some of the things my Master has planned will push my submission. Yet they all sound so very erotic as well...goodness. lol There are many new things that will be explored and experienced on many levels for all three of us, makes this visit even more special. For me, one avenue my Master wants to explore is my re-awakening bi-sexuality. rabbit knows how long it has been since i have touched (intimately) or fu*ked another female so she understands why i am nervous. In fact, she finds it a little funny. There is so much planned for this visit that Sir and i agreed that it might be best to write down my expereinces at the end of each day otherwise i may not be able to remember everything unless i do so. i have the feeling it will take me a while to write all of it down when i get back. lol i do have some wonderful images in my head though....all three of us cuddling together for a quiet moment and of course my favorite fantasy of me and another female giving Sir a massage. rabbit and i are even buying a bottle of vanilla massage oil.....i know that Sir desires to see rabbit and i give each other massages and slick bodies can never be a bad thing. *grin* There have been some pictures (of two women being intimate) that my Master has shared with me that i must admit arouses me...blush. Just the thought of Sir laying in bed with a girl on each side makes me all warm inside. On a different note, i will be able to show rabbit that part of me she has only seen glimpses of when i am on the phone with Sir. she can see how the dynamic between my Master and i works....she will be able to really see my submission/slavery to Him instead of imagining it. This is something that i am happy to share with her more so since she is beginning to discover her submissive side. In with that, rabbit will strip (or more to the point be displayed naked) for someone for the first time. she will do things she has fantasized about (yet never had the courage to say anything about-until now lol) as well as she will receive her first spanking. i know my Master is excited about that and so am i. i have never watched Sir Dominate another female, so that will be cool to watch as well. Soooo many wonderful things to happen. rabbit thinks that being "given away" as a present is very erotic and i am so happy that i am able to please my Master by providing Him with what He really wanted for His birthday. This visit will be very fun i think as well as enlightening with many new experiences. i can hardly wait!

20 seconds

i just finished my nightly ritual. With the new addition, which is doing my positions, holding each position for a slow count of 20 seconds. After going through my positions i then do my 15 minutes of meditation in position 6. Well....life has been stressful lately, something in which we all know can happen. Tonight, i stayed in pos.1 and held it. 20 seconds came and gone.....all i did was stay there and breath. Struggled to find that place within me....the place that is beyond the chaos which is sometimes my life. i know i could have just did my count to 20 and then switch positions but i was yearning, needing that deep seeded calmness that resides within my submission. i don't feel "out of whack" often but when i do, it seems to all but consumes me. So i waited and then the image of my Master, sitting and gently smiling came to mind. i felt my body slowly settle in position, my mind started to slow as my entire self fully focused on my submission to Him. It was then that i switched positions. As i went through each position, the gentle intensity within me grew until by the time i hit position 5 i was fully within that wonderful place which Sir has guided me to. my eyes were closed, breath deep and even with images in my head of sitting by His feet, with His hand stroking my hair. With each continuing position my body would flow from one transition to the next, almost like a dance of sorts. Still kept my count of 20 seconds but i just let myself float as much as possible. (in r/l the emotions are infinitely more intense and longer lasting) When i went into my meditation position, i lost track of time. i just let myself feel and for whatever reason affirmations went running through my head, although instead of thinking them, i found myself answering them out loud. Words are powerful and even now my mind is calm and focused. i didn't think about yesterday or tomorrow....the only thing that was on my mind was the simple joy i get from pleasing my Master and how happy i am being His. i am not sure how tomorrow will be but i figure i will let it figure itself out on it's own. lol 20 seconds isn't a long time, indeed it is very short but sometimes 20 seconds is all you need.

Sir's trip

Sir left few days ago on a trip out of the country. From what pictures and web sites i have seen it is really beautiful in some parts and i was excited albeit a little sad to see Him go. At first it was thought that my Master would not be able to call me for the entire 12 days....call rates soar so very long conversations were out. At first i was a little mixed about my Master leaving.....sure enough i was happy that He was going to do something new but also i knew i was going to miss speaking with Him very much. i was also worried about how His trip would go and if He would make it every where He wanted to go safely. (Although i have gotten much better with traveling, sometimes i still get a little nervous myself) Truth be told, i was more worried about how everything would go for Him than not being able to speak with Him. The really good news is that A) His trip has gone wonderful so far, He has seen some really astounding sites, He did something really really cool the other day and He has eaten foods He has never tried before. Also He has met some really interesting people and has had a good time so far. B) So far my Master has seen fit to call me everyday, although i know that there may be days He will not be able to. i love hearing from Him, to hear how His day has gone and what His thoughts are of where He is. The stories He tells me are sometimes really funny or what He describes is wonderful. Also, i feel better being able to connect with Him for even a brief period of time. That is something that i am very grateful for and i feel lucky that He is willing to spend the time (and the money) speaking with me, even for just 15 minutes. i am not sure if humbled would be the correct word, i just know that i feel privileged when He does call. Overall, so far so good. lol i very much hope that the rest of His trip goes well and that He sees some really wonderful things.

10,000

It is amazing.....the counter finally hit 10,000!! And now here is the really interersting part....it was my Master, looking to see what number the blog was up to, that turned it to 10,000! How cool is that.....really?? lol

This is just a quick note to say thank you to everyone who has read this blog and to those who still read about my journey. It has been amazing so far and knowing that there is still so much left to explore leaves me looking forward to the future. Here's to future blogs and bondage (and everything else)

xoxo

chai

rabbit update

This is just a quick update on rabbit....the other night, as Sir was on the phone with rabbit and i, she did something that surprised Sir. (and me as well) i was on the phone speaking with Sir and she asked Him for permission to go to the bathroom! Sir did not prod her to do so, instead she did it because she thought it to be the proper way to show Him respect. Considering she is new to the lifestyle it was an action i nor Sir predicted. my Master told her that she was a good girl and i could not help but smile with rabbit at His words.

Rabbit Update

Something interesting has happened lately. It would seem that my friendship with rabbit has taken an interesting turn. As i have already told everyone, rabbit is coming with me to visit Sir soon. During this visit, she will explore aspects such as domestic service, sexual service and a touch of erotic pain here and there. i am sooo excited about this visit and so is rabbit and Sir. Well, in addition to all of this occurring, it would seem that rabbit enjoys the idea of a poly lifestyle, albeit a bit nervous as well. she has experimented with poly before although it did not end well (too much jealousy) and has voiced her concerns with me about it. But she still likes the idea and it looks like that she may become the third that my Master and i have looked for, at least temporarily. i really like the idea of rabbit becoming part of our poly family with my Master and i. she is a very good friend and new to the lifestyle but eager to learn. i think what it is really, is the fact that i know i can trust her. i know she won't be a brat (she is way to mature to be like that), she is responsible and she understands what the dynamic is about. Also, on a more personal note, i know that she will not try to shove me out of Sir's life in an attempt to assure her place in His (i think that could happen...even without someone meaning to) she really sees poly as a family....the same concept that Sir and i share. Since she has begun to be exposed to our dynamic and is slowly learning about herself and the lifestyle, there are changes i see in her. she has become more open about talking about things and she is not as guarded as she once was. she seems a bit more sure in knowing who she is and overall i think that her confidence in herself is growing. It is cute to watch her blush and then laugh at the questions Sir and i pose as well as when she answers them. The other night, rabbit and Sir were on the phone and Sir instructed her on how she is to ask to cum during her visit. i will admit that i got quite the giggle out of her facial expressions but on a serious note, i know how hard that was to do. she had to pull from herself and the inside and for the first time, she really did something to please someone else (from a submissive standpoint), even though it made her uncomfortable. i was very proud of her....more so since the first time i did anything like that it was just Sir and i....i didn't have someone staring at me. But she did it and was happy that she did. i can only wonder what will happen when she and i go see Him, although i have the feeling that this all may very well turn into something wonderful.

Three

This entry comes from a letter that my Master suggested i write to another slave about what i think a poly dynamic should entail. When discussing a poly dynamic with other subs or people in general, sometimes it is difficult to decide which attribute or aspect to approach first. i think the number one thing on my list is friendship between all three of us. There have been a few subs that either He or i or both have spoken to that only seem interested in Him. Of course my view is that both subs/slaves should be focused on Him but also think that a relationship between her and i should be strong as well. In my mind a sister sub would pretty much be one of my best friends....someone i am fond of and genuinely care about and vise versa. i would like to be able to confide in her and be able to share experiences with her, to be able to go out and have coffee with His permission. Also, being able to serve my Master beside another sub who feels the depth of her submission and wishes to explore it is another wonderful aspect. There are so many things that i would love to explore with a sister sub that i respect and am friends with.
Within a poly dynamic i see that truthfully there would be 4 parts. There would be the relationship between Master and her, He and i, she and i and then the dynamic that all three of us would share. i see it as there would be a different relationship between my Master and her and Him and i since our (the subs) needs, likes and dislikes would be different. That is a natural occurrence and one i think should not cause jealousy. That seems to be a concern with most subs/slaves i have spoken to and that concern is not without some merit. Although i think that with good communication between all three people that can be avoided. No doubt, a poly dynamic would not always be easy but i truly think that the rewards would be more than worth the effort.
In response to my letter, she raised the concern of being confided in and yet telling Sir all that was said in our conversation. That too is important and i wrote back to her stating that i agreed for there is nothing i should tell her that my Master does not already know or should not be aware of. i think that could also be problematic....there have been times i have needed to sort out a problem with someones help. Really to just need a third persons perspective or to vent. So i see her concern as a valid one. Where do you draw the line at having a conversation with someone, knowing that they just need to vent and having a conversation that has an important tone that effects the dynamic? Is there even a line there really? i guess there are quite a few questions and situations that could occur but playing "what if" i think may be a waste of time. The best possible thing to do (in my opinion) would be to take it one day at a time and see what happens. But as i stated to the sub i wrote, the rewards would be worth the energy and time spent.