Thursday, April 24, 2008


This visit, i was pushed. Hard. Master had me get against the wall and He pulled out the flogger and started at my shoulders. At first, this felt like a wonderful, relaxing deep tissue massage. i breathed through each one, enjoying the warmth the flogger left on my back. Even thinking about it now brings a smile to face. Within a few seconds though, Master started to use the flogger with increasing strength. The relaxing feeling was soon replaced with the ticking of arousal, as the flogger started to sting and leave a light burning sensation in it's wake. It was then that i started to focus on relaxing, somehow knowing that Master was going to go a bit harder. Sure enough, as the strokes kept falling and getting harder, my breathing started to falter and the owww sensation was creeping upon me. Just as i was starting to whimper, Master switched tactics, went to His closet and brought out the cane. "Ooohhhh" was all i could think. Master had me switch my position so my ass was better presented and i fought the instinct of tensing up. i felt the cool surface touch the back of my thighs and i took a deep breath. Master smacked the back of my thighs numerous times very lightly and eekkk! That drove me up the wall! lol It is hard to not expect a stroke when that is is almost like being teased. Part of me wanted to giggle out of nervousness and come to think of it, i may have. Then....whack! There went the first stroke and i jumped. Each stoke drove me a little farther....i would jump, tense and sometimes try to stall to try and get a "breather" in between each one. But Master wasn't having any of that this time. "Get back in to position" or "present your ass" were the words i heard this time, a bit more often than usual. By the time Master was done (or so i thought), my breath was starting to waver and my mind was becoming a little slow. i was becoming an aroused, mushy slave and admittedly, loving every minute of it. He threw the cane on the bed and instructed to get onto my knees to serve Him. In a way, i breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that i was given the honor of serving Him and that the worst was over. As i was sucking Master's co*k, His hands came to my nipples and pulled. That felt so very good and my arousal climbed even higher. Master had me draw away from His co*k, told me to stand back up and re-position myself on His bedroom wall. i think it was then that i realized that i was going to be pushed pretty hard, although i didn't know what the result would be. Even though a part of me was a bit nervous and apprehensive about how hard this might get, the desire to serve Master and the desire to be pushed over-ruled anything else i was feeling. Uncertainty about how i would react, mixed with trust and excitement were the emotions i had as i stood back up, put my hands on the wall and presented myself for whatever else Master had in store for me.

Sunday, April 20, 2008


When i first met Master (way back when) i told Him that i could not stand being tickled and i don't just mean it annoyed me. i mean like it would cause me to panic, reduce me tears and if carried on long enough, cause me to want to hide in a dark corner while i erased the feeling of panic from my mind and body while mutely staring at a wall. Yes, that bad. In the past i have even ended up hitting people out of self preservation. Needless to sat, tickling me became something Master never attempted to do. But a couple of visits ago, He tickled me for just a brief moment and i was okay. i didn't mind, i didn't freak out....just laughed. After, Master made the comment about not wanting to do something that would give me a very bad experience. But i assured Him i was fine and the subject matter dropped. This visit, something incredible happened! Master and i were sitting on the couch and He started to tickle me. All i could do was laugh...well laugh and jump and giggle. lol i can't remember how it happened, but at some point in time, i ended up laying over His lap. Master was tickling me.....yes i was squirming but no bad feelings. Master said something about Him not wanting me to move (it is sooo hard NOT to move when someone was tickling you!) and He grabbed my nipple! Once He had a good grip, Master continued to tickle me. Every time i would jump, my nipple would get pulled....hard. It hurt but i couldn't stop laughing....adding in the fact that i adore nipple torture, this wasn't necessarily a bad thing. But i did try my best to stay still as Master wanted me to. Each time He would tickle me, part of me was waiting for the signal to go off in my brain that it was becoming to much. Or maybe i wasn't waiting for it but rather, paying very close attention to how i was feeling. But the feeling never came.....i never felt panicked or scared or anything negative. Instead, it felt more like a light-hearted game of sorts. How long i could stay still or get my nipple pulled. lol In the end, i ended up jumping so badly that my nipple was ripped from Master's very tight grip. He later told M and k that He was holding on as tight as He could! After all was said and done, Master and i laughed at how hard i must have jumped and part of me was a little sad that the "game" had ended. i really enjoyed myself (thank You Sir!!) and when Master told me that next time He might use the clover clamps, two things happened. 1) i was excited that it may happen again and 2) became a little nervous about the clover clamps. But those things can pull sooo hard! lol In a lot of ways, i was a little surprised at how everything went. As i said, i do not take tickling well. i did when i was a kid but somehow, as i got older, it started to have a bad effect. So i was really happy to discover that part of myself.'s not it. i say that because i know that i could not take my friends tickling me. To re-phrase- i was happy to discover that Master could tickle me with no ill effects. Why exactly He can when no one else can......well, after a lot of thinking, i think it may be a mix of things. One being, i trust Him. Pure and simple. i know that He would never keep tickling me if i said my safe word (which is my responsibility to use BEFORE it gets to the point of panic) i also know that He would watch me closely to make sure i am okay. (friends sometimes forget about that.....or if you say stop- they keep going...thinking that you are laughing) Also, Master had tickled me before. Very brief short bursts, nothing i could not handle. 2...well....being honest. i want to please Master. It is something that i desire very much and strive to do. i think that has an effect on why i am willing to push past some of my own fears. i know that Master enjoys tickling me and in the past i have often felt a little bad that He couldn't, because i just couldn't handle it. Perhaps in some subconscious way, i tried working through that dislike. To try and find the space where i could enjoy it once again and that boundary would no longer be there. Or maybe everything just fell into place. (i think i am going to go with the whole wanting-to-please-Him-so-i-will-work-past-this theory) Which spurns a whole new train of thought i will approach at another time. 3 would be the fact that i did enjoy being tickled by Him. It was nice and fun and something i am eager to try again. Even though i know that it may one day turn from something that felt mostly silly to something more serious i know now that it is something that can happen and i won't freak out or anything. i'm not going to say it wouldn't be hard but knowing that i am okay (mentally and emotionally) with tickling makes me feel pretty happy. Yet another new door opens for exploration which should be interesting to say the least.

Monday, April 14, 2008

My continued training - golden showers

Master was sitting at His computer desk, i can't remember what exactly we were doing but somehow the fact that He had to pee entered into the conversation. It went somewhere along the lines that He had to use the restroom and i stood up. Then, very casually Master said, "Or I can just pee on you". i thought Master was joking, even as a shiver went down my spine. "Yes Sir" came out of my mouth enclosed in a giggle. It was only when He looked at me with the smile i have come to know so well that i realized that He meant it. Still i froze for a moment with a smile still on my face, unsure of what was going to happen. Master gave me a gentle push in the direction of the bathroom. "Go on then, go kneel in the shower" (or something to that effect) i walked into the bathroom, stood and turned around to face Him. "Hurry up and get undressed and get into the shower". He was smiling but i knew that tone of voice....i had better hurry up. i stripped as fast (yet gracefully) as i could manage and went in to kneel into the shower. This took adjustment on my part, since i am somewhat used to kneeling with my ass on my heels, however, as Master and i discussed, i was to try and swallow at much of His pee as possible, without making a mess. So i got as close to His c*ck as possible, got into position 4 and opened my mouth. i couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through my body and even as His pee hit my mouth, it had not yet "hit" that this was happening. All i could do at the beginning was concentrate on keeping my mouth open but then this feeling came over me....i always try my hardest to please Master but this was like an added determination. So i attempted to breath through my nose and swallow at the same time. i was hoping for the effect that i would be able to swallow as much as possible. However, it didn't really work that way. lol i ended up choking just a bit and in the 3 or 4 seconds it took to compose myself and get ready for more, it started to really hit me that i was attempting to swallow all of Master's pee. All that was going through my head was a frantic attempt to please Him as much as possible. During this time, Master was controlling the flow. i haven't had that much experience and i was very grateful that He was going slow with me. Time and time again, i would try to swallow with my mouth still open. Not impossible but it was hard to get used to. When Master was done, i stayed kneeling for a moment while everything else sunk in. After a few seconds Master told me i was a good girl (i love it when Master calls me that!!) and told me to get out of the shower, so He could start it for me. A very kind gesture and i thanked Him for it. i remember the look on His face...i could see that He was very proud of me, i had pleased Him and He was happy. i laughed when Master said something along the lines that what happened was going to be a lot to absorb. All i could do was giggle and agree. All i could say was "that was intense". Master looked at me, gently smiled and said "Indeed it was cutie" and gave me a gentle kiss on my lips. He opened the door to the shower and i gratefully climbed into the wonderful hot water. As i walked in and had a few quiet moments, the full effect of me swallowing about 80% of His pee hit. i was In that quiet space in my head where the only thing that i really feel is happy, submissive and owned. i was all but glowing when i came out of the shower and although i was a little quieter than usual, i was able to function rather well. There have been times when Master will use me and push me to the point where i am useless for anything but small chores and getting my hair stroked. This wasn't one of those times but i was still pretty far into that particular type of subspace. Absolutely wonderful! It is Master's intent to train me to the point where i will no longer need to go in the shower (unless He feels like peeing on me) and i am confident that i will get there. i would love for Master to be able to use me in that fashion whenever the urge hits Him without thinking about having to take a shower afterwards, so i am determined, in my own fashion, to do this for Him.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

In the public's eye

Jumping right into this visit, let me first inform you all that i am indeed at Master's house for a week loing visit!! And loving it...some firsts have already happened. i got pushed really hard, tried something new and different, went to a public dungeon and the visit has not even ended! Normally i write in order of things that have happened but it is by Master's request that i write about this right now. M, k, Master and i went to a public dungeon. i had never been but was pretty excited and happy to go, if for nothing else then to try something different. Well, we got there and of coursre i am nervous as all get out. Lots of people were there and many details but i will get to those later. What i am writing about right now was a scene that Master decided to do. He did not bring any toys with Him as He was content to sit back, watch and answer any questions i might have. That was pretty cool but what Master did next suprised me. First, Master took off my top and put me in this standing cage. Though it was big enough for me to stand in but when Master told me to get into pos. 1, my elbows stuck out of the bars. At first, i was like...oh geez.....just standing there topless in front of people i did not know. After about one minute though, i ceased to be nervous or anything like that. In fact i became really comfortable and was just watching other people out of the corner of me eye and listening to the sounds of people being flogged, spanked and goodness knows what else. Master came up and spoke to me, asked me how i was doing and such and when He learned that i was more then comfortable in the cage half naked, He promptly told me to take off my skirt. Now, i was wearig this leather corest type of top and a super super short white pleated skirt (think very naughty school girl). With that, add black patent leather 6-inch heels to the mix. So when He told me to take off my skirt, not only was that a little difficlut to do, it also made me very shy. But i did get it off and back into position. After the skirt was off Master had me stand there for a few more minutes in pos.1 and then told me to turn into pos.2. Well, at this time, i am thinking that this is no problem and i stood there and focused on listening. After a while Master told me to face front again...which happened a few times and then i started thinking that i was going through a kinky version of doe-se-doe. lol my arms were getting a little tired and such but i was okay with everything. Then.....Master had me face the back again and kept me there. After about 3 minutes i started wondering if He left....i didn't hear Him and my arms were getting tired....but i saw His shadow and thought i heard Him talking to someone. i dismissed it though and i think now maybe i shouldn't have. lol Turns out k had an idea that Master approved of so when He told me to face the front (yet again-lol) i saw about 30 people staring at me!!!!! OMG!!! Some where kneeling and according to M, panic crossed my face which i quickly covered. i focus on the mirror in the back of the room....i didn't want to see the other people....i just looked through them. i focused on my posture, my face...keeping a slight smile without giggling. i became insanly aware of every body part....every arch as i strived to hold posotion. By this time my arms where burning and aching.....but somehow i mangaed to keep them upright and still. After what was probably only a minute or two, Master came, looked at me (i can't remember what He said) and i laughed. Which made some of the crowd smile as well. He then let me out of the cage, i breathed a huge sigh of relief and people started to clap. i rememeber i got very shy at was very kind of them but i could feel myself blushing. k asked m if i knew how to curtsy and i tried my best in 6-inch heels and soon after eveyone dispersed. i think what makes me the most shocked out of everything is the fact that k said people knew who she was talking about when she mentioned "the girl in the cage".....i honestly didn't think anyone really was paying attention to i was suprised that strangers remembered who i was. i was suprised that Master had me strip....but knowing He was near did make me feel so much better about eveything. As long as He is watching over me, i feel safe. i think i was lucky that Master had me do positions in the cage...they always calm and center me and i love showing or teaching subs/slaves about them, so i was thankful it was that. Goodness...i'm glad the cage wasn't any bigger, because the image of Master having me do pos.3 in front of a crowd just popped into me head and all i can say is....eekkk!!! lol Overall the scene in the cage was fun and interesting...not sure if it is something i would want to do over and over again, but i know that i would feel comfortable doing at least a couple of them. In the end, i was a little aroused but then again, that is never a bad thing either. i will write again soon about this visit and let you know what else happened!