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Friday, December 28, 2007

Off again


i am taking off to go see Master in just a short while. Yay!! Normally i would write about this well in advance but this time but i was concentrating on the Birthday Chronicles, that time seem to slip away. lol i am very very excited, even more so since i will be with Master for almost 4 days. i honestly cannot wait to get off the plan to meet Him and i am very certain that this visit will be a full one indeed. Master even gave me permission to go and have a one-on-one lunch with k this visit, so that is something i am greatly looking forward to as well. Sir did mention using the dungeon while i am there but what else may happen, i have no idea but i am so excited i could almost burst!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Birthday Chronicles :: A bound rabbit


we were all in the bedroom when Master told rabbit to go ahead and get undressed. she looked curious yet very nervous at the same time. she hesitated greatly and Sir decided to help her by telling her what article of clothing to remove at a time. Each time she removed a piece of clothing she would hesitate and freeze all over again. Sir then again, would tell her the next item to take off. When rabbit finally got down to her thong, before Sir could say "Okay, now the thong." rabbit smiled and said "i know.....now the thong." lol Sir laughed and said that He found that really quite funny. It also showed Him that rabbit still had a sense of humor about things. i couldn't really blame her for being pretty nervous, i had felt the same way the first time Sir ever tied me up. i looked at her, grinned and when she laid down on the bed i laid down next to her. i just lightly spoke while Sir tied her up the same way He done to me. He would ask her occasionally if the rope was too tight or if she was doing okay. she looked relieved i think, to know and feel that Sir was concerned about her. she reassured us both that she was doing fine and that the rope wasn't too tight. Every now and then a giggle would come from rabbit, which made me smile and giggle a little as well. Sir started out with one of His smaller vibes, He had used it once before and saw that it got a nice reaction out of her....meaning it made her a little breathless and squirmy. lol Watching Sir use rabbit was pretty erotic really.....seeing someone else tied up in a manner that i had been was.....wow. Arousing to say the least...... At first i started to really focus on her breasts, lightly sucking, nibbling, licking...all the fun stuff. i love breasts, it is one of my favorite body parts on a woman, so being able to play with rabbit's was a treat. my only hope was that i was turning her on as much has she had done to me. Can you blame me? lol Running my hands up and down her body while she lightly jerked from the sensations Sir made her feel.....well.....i knew i wasn't responsible for all of her arousal but i enjoyed knowing that i contributed to it. After a little while Sir had me hand Him the harley. i couldn't suppress an evil little grin....i know how crazy that thing can make me and i was dying of curiosity to see how it affected rabbit. What i really wanted (being honest) was to hear her squeal, but alas it didn't happen. (i remember when i used to be just as quiet....it took a little bit for me to relax and express myself vocally whenever Sir decided to use me) As rabbit had done with me, i ended up sitting back a lot of the time and just watched. Being able to watch someone else push and pull against the the ropes that bound them was interesting really. i couldn't help but notice some differences but that is really cool in my opinion. How she responded vs me and how different i was sure our body language was. i do remember intently watching the harly being run up and down her cu*t and the voyeur side of me enjoyed watching that immensely. After a while of Sir hitting spots on rabbit that made her wriggle all over the bed (as much as she could anyways- lol) He turned off the vibe and went to the head of the bed and laid down next to her. He was talking to rabbit while kissing and playing with her nipples. i got brave and asked Sir for permission go sit in between her legs. Sir gave me permission and i moved in between her legs and after running my hands along her legs, actually placed my hand on her cu*t. Yikes! lol (i did it, i did it-lol) Ran my fingers up and down, played with her clit and pretty much just explored. rabbit did not seem to mind and even enjoyed what i was doing. Touching another woman's cu*t was...well....a bit of a turn on but i think i was more intent on exploring her body a that time. However, i will say her that her cu*t was soft and warm and i think i really re-discovered why i was bi-sexual (besides breasts- lol) After Sir untied her, it is true that rabbit did not have an orgasm or really "let go". Still Sir was very proud of rabbit.....she didn't back away from trying something that she was really curious about, even though it made her very nervous. Sir and i knew that her being tied up pushed her boundaries and her comfort level and i am happy just of the fact that she trusted Sir and i enough to let it happen. If rabbit will ever explore this side of herself again, i have no idea, but she did say that she was happy that she at least tried it once.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Birthday Chronicles :: Bound


Sir led both rabbit and i into His room, after a discussion about trying some bondage by being tied to the bed. i was elected (told by Sir in other words) to go first so that rabbit could observe....Sir knew she was nervous and i was happy to try and ease her nerves. i was a little nervous too albeit very excited....being tied up in front of rabbit certainly was different. Although she and i had spoken quite often about bondage, i knew that talking and seeing were two different things. So i was hoping that she would have fun observing a little. Well, Sir decided to add some rope and i got to help set the rope onto the bed. When all was finished Sir had me lay on the bed and proceeded to tie me up. First a rope went around my thighs then ankles. One at time and during the whole process, i slowly went into that sate of mind where i am just totally into the moment of what is happening. When Sir tied my wrists together and above my head i was almost trembling with nerves, arousal and anticipation. With rabbit being there i had no clue as to what could happen. Sure enough when He was done, Sir started playing with my cu*t and rabbit was licking and sucking on my nipples. Omg....even though i love the clamps (sometimes lol) and breast/nipple torture, having someone playing with my nipples so softly aroused me so much. At some point in time Sir went to my nipples, rabbit had the vibe and i was happily in the middle. lol At some point in time, Master went and got His crop and started to lightly hit my inner thighs. It had been a little while since that part of my body had experienced erotic pain and at first i was trying to breath with each one. But not for long. Sir had the harley with a new attachment on it and it was driving me crazy. The new attachment is purple, it slips over the head and it has a part of it that sticks out like a dildo of sorts. All the sensations left me forgetting that rabbit was even there, more so since at this point she just sat back and watched. Soon each strike with the crop only heightened my arousal....Master then started to use the crop with much more force. Somewhere within the hard cropping i was being given, the pain went from a little much to not enough. lol Well, sort of....it was that type of subspace where the pain wasn't pain and the only thing i could focus on was what i was feeling. you know the space where you seem to forget who you are, you are just floating on all the sensations and your brain isn't working all the way? When i felt an orgasm approaching fast i do remember begging Sir to please go harder with the crop. He tells me that i was yelling and although i am sure that i did, i don't really remember being that loud, but then again i know i can get very loud when i cum for Him. (blush) When i begged for Sir to go harder, all i could feel was each strike propelling me harder and faster towards an orgasm. It is a little confusing really, what i was feeling. All i know is that Sir did see fit to grant my breathless request and very soon i was asking Sir if His slut may please have permission to cum for Him. i am very happy and thankful that Sir gave me permission because goodness...lol. Cumming that hard left me feeling a little drained and after Sir untied me and i regained the better part of my senses i looked down at my thighs. i wasn't bothered by what i saw but rabbit looked a little surprised. my thighs were a dark red and already showing some bruising. Master decided it would be a good idea for everyone to take a break so rabbit went outside for a cigarette. All of us had a short discussion and it turns out that rabbit really was just surprised but still very willing to try bondage herself. she knew that Sir knew she wasn't at that level and that He wouldn't push her to that point. (One of Master's philosophies is to not push someone to the point where they have a bad experience, His goal is to leave someone wanting more - which He is good at if i may say so lol) After the discussion we all went back inside to Sir's bedroom where it would be rabbit's turn next.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Birthday Chronicles :: Kissed

Watching Master kiss rabbit did two things. One, it made me certain that i was not jealous that He was kissing her and two, i got very aroused. But really....this is Sir we are talking about, just Him alone turns me on to no end. It was just....wow. lol i have always wondered what Master looked like when He was using or playing with me and after this weekend, having a camcorder around sounds like a good idea. (i have turned into such a perv, i love it lol) Anyways, after a minute or two Sir had us kissing....rabbit and i kissed for about 30 seconds, parted and then Sir asked us "Did I tell you both to stop kissing?" i murmured my apologies with a slight giggle and resumed kissing rabbit. However, after about another 30 seconds she and i could not contain the giggles that built into our chests. It was funny...not funny ha ha but omg i am doing this funny. Attack of the nerves i think. lol i remember Sir kneeling beside me and He started to kiss me....somewhere in the middle of it, He instructed rabbit to insert her fingers into my cu*t. That was a unique sensation....my mind and body were so sensitive with arousal and anticipation that i started to lose myself in all the sensations. Then as Master was kissing me (quite passionately i might add ::grin::) He slid His hand up to my throat and squeezed. With that action i was gone.... His hand on my throat can easily send me into such a state of submission and arousal. Soo many things. i remember Him taking off the nipple clamps and i gasped into His mouth. It was that "hurt so good type of pain". He then released me and took off rabbits. i was expecting a reaction but the girl hardly flinched!! lol Sir made the comment about possibly using the clover clamps on her next time and i could not suppress a grin and neither could rabbit. Sir then instructed me to go and lay down on my back on the couch. When i got there i got into a comfortable position and then watched as Master drew rabbit near Him and just started to kiss her, sliding His hands up and down her body and play with her breasts. It took about 30 seconds and then arousal and desire just kicked in like a ton of bricks. i was entranced.....Sir is just so hot in my mind and just being allowed to experience something like that was amazing. i could hear rabbit's soft moans and watching her react was surreal in some ways. Surreal but very erotic and arousing. Soon Sir directed rabbit to the couch as well. When she was half laying against Him, Sir spread her legs slightly and started to slap her cu*t. This was something that rabbit expressed that she had experienced once before and wanted to try on a more intense level. Well Sir started out lightly while increasing the pressure each time (at least that is what is sounded like lol) Instead of her closing her legs (which i thought that she would do) she just laid back and thoroughly enjoyed what was happening. she became very aroused and a little flushed. From time to time, Sir would have me lean in and lick or suck on her nipples, run my hands up and down her body which caused even more arousal for me. i was in a high state of arousal the entire time and i loved what was going on. i do not remember exactly how it happened, but Sir had rabbit turn over for her first spanking ever. Goodness, that girl has a high pain tolerance! lol she did very well with her first spanking and surprised both Sir and i with how hard He was able to go. In the end she had two little bruises (one on each ass cheek) and a very cute, very pink ass. Every now and then Sir would have me lean over and kiss her ass in various spots....kissing overly heated skin was pretty fun. lol After all of various spankings and such were done, Sir told rabbit how proud of her He was, that He had fun spanking her and that He was happy that she was having a fun time so far. rabbit went to go do something and Sir led me into His bedroom. i stood at the end of His bed and He patted His lap, indicating He wanted me to place myself for a spanking. To be honest, i was very excited and was actually craving that type of interaction with Him. Being over His lap was calming.....i enjoyed the feeling of being there, knowing i was His. All the arousal and anticipation and some of the new things had left me feeling a bit "hyper". Not in a bad way but what can be a very calming influence from Sir and His Dominance was greatly thanked for. Somewhere in Sir spanking me i fell into sub-space and i faintly remember rabbit coming in to His room and Sir asking her to go and get His crop. He gave me a few swats with it and explained to rabbit that i was in sub-space and was processing erotic pain in a different way. Coming out of sub-space i felt a little cuddly but also a bit rambunctious yet very sleepy. It was almost 3am in the morning! lol So Sir undressed and rabbit put on pajamas (she hates feeling cold) and crawled into bed. So far a very interesting night and i thought how the coming days would go.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Birthday Chronicles :: Stripped


As rabbit looked through the entire bag of toys a few things stand out in my mind. One of them being that Sir ended up putting the nipple clamps aside. The other was a few of the things that Sir demonstrated on me at rabbit's request. Like a little bit of rope bondage with my hands tied behind my back. Sir put the mask on me again although this time, i was completely comfortable with it on (for the most part...lol) i still got that shiver of anticipation but in a good way. i hope that the mask is something that Master and i will work with again. Another toy shown to rabbit was a new one for me as well. It was this leather arm binder that covered my hands and went up to almost my under arms. It laced up and had a ring on it so that my arms could be tied (in a fashion) to the ceiling in His dungeon. i liked it...a lot. lol Images of wearing the mask while also wearing the leather binder danced through my head and i thought my eyes were going to roll back into my head. Another thing that stands out in my head is rabbit saying that she was curious about one of the paddles Sir has. It is small-ish, black leather and has a heart shaped cut out on it. That way if Sir were to slap my ass with it, i would have a white heart against a red area. Fortunately, that did not get tried on me. i say that because it is something that Sir and i have tried before and neither one of us liked it very much. The feel of His hands do so much more than a paddle does...His hand is more intimate, arousing and in a way, more Dominating than a paddle. So i was a little relieved that is didn't get used. After all was said and done regarding the toy bag, Sir told me to stand up. i knew almost immediately that it was time for me to strip in front of rabbit for the first time. Sir directed me to where He wanted me to stand and told me to face them both. my heart was racing a little bit but i wasn't as nervous as i thought i would be. Instead i just felt anticipation and a desire to immerse myself in my submission to Sir. Something i wanted very much for rabbit to see. Taking off my clothes was a little nerve-wracking but since rabbit is a close friend i was okay with it. Seconds after i was naked, Sir spoke to rabbit about positions and what each one is used for. So He instructed me to do position 1, 2 and 3. Since rabbit is sooo very shy, Sir did not have me do the finish of pos.3 and instead moved onto 4, 5 and 6. Doing each one, even though rabbit was there, i felt myself just melt into each position concentrating on being graceful and pleasing Sir. After i had gone through each pos., it was then rabbit's turn to strip. i swear i could hear her heartbeat echo through out the room. lol But even though she was incredible nervous, she did oh so well. Sir was very proud of her and so was i. He and i both knew how hard it was going to be for her but for her first time she really pushed forward. Master had me get up and help her with each pos. Getting into each pos. correctly, how her back was arched, where her hands should go, everything. i enjoyed helping her....somewhere in everything, i had the thought that i was helping her please Sir, which made me very happy and focused. When it came to kneeling positions (4,5 and 6) i sat back down next to Master and just watched. Again she did very well with memorizing the pos. so quickly and i got to really look at her body while she went through the rest of the positions. Might i say here, she has a very cute ass? lol she does....Sir called it "very spank-able" ::grin:: her doing position 6 was interesting in it's self. Knowing how much that position means to me and the comfort it brings, i could not help but smile as she found a comfort level within the position. When rabbit was back to pos.5 Sir decided then to put nipple clamps on me....i remember when He put them on, i felt ready to stand up or sit down as quick as possible. lol i can't help it, nipple clamps act like a sure-fire leash of some sorts while arousing me at the same time. After mine were on, Master then turned to rabbit, stroked her nipples a couple of times and then put nipple clamps on her as well. rabbit barely flinched and it was the first tell tale sign that she would prove to have a very high pain threshold. Going through the toy bag, stripping, watching rabbit strip and then the nipple clamps left me in a state of mind full of curiosity mingled with arousal and anticipation. It was when Sir leaned in and began to kiss rabbit that i knew a very interesting night had begun in earnest.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Birthday Chronicles


i dug into my carry-on and grabbed the purple ribbon that was to go around rabbit's neck. Wrapping Sir's present in a manner of speaking. Putting it around her neck was exciting....i just couldn't wait to get off the plane. Getting off the plane, was as i predicted....rabbit and i were both jumping around on the inside, just for different reasons. she and i spoke on the plane and she had told me how nervous she was although she said she was also excited. As we walked through the airport, i was on the phone with Master and rabbit asked if she could stop and get a cup of coffee. (i was not surprised....lol) Finally, she and i reached where i knew Sir was waiting and my heart rate sped up.....i was so happy to see Him and i felt like i was going to just burst from anticipation. Sure enough, there He was. Leaning against the wall looking undeniably sexy with that grin i have come to know so well. When i reached Sir, He gave me a hug and a kiss and then He turned to rabbit. i turned to watch Him embrace her and all i could do was smile. On the way to Sir's home, while in the truck he had rabbit sit between us. He and i both had our hands on rabbit's legs and kept stroking her from her knees to her upper inner thigh. After a little while of this, Master put her hand on my thigh and she had fun causing wonderful sensations. (it felt a little naughty for another women touching me semi-intimately....naughty but with Master watching, very erotic as well) However, i think that perhaps rabbit was a little too nervous to let herself become really aroused, although she did have lots of fun on the ride home. By the time all of us had reached Sir's house, i was very aroused and more comfortable with everything. We all went inside and after all the luggage had been put away neatly in Master's bedroom we all went into the kitchen to get dinner out. (Sir suggested that we stop by a restaurant for a to-go order....we were all a little hungry lol) Sir poured a glass of wine for everyone and we all went into the living room to eat, so we could sit around a roaring fire that Sir had started. i of course sat at Sir's feet and rabbit did the same. Lots of conversation and laughter ensued and Master even allowed us to look at a commercial He had been in when He was younger. (we all ended up either laughing or giggling, in a good way) The mood in the room became more relaxed although the tension from what rabbit and i knew would happen (her stripping) lingered. my main concern was that Sir was pleased and that He and rabbit were getting along and were having a good time with each other. After everyone had eaten, i asked Sir for permission to take the plates to the kitchen, so only the glasses of wine remained. It was when i returned that Master offered rabbit the opportunity to go through the entire toy bag and ask for anything to be demonstrated.....on me. lol i wasn't really surprised with that but i was a bit curious as to what could happen next.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

B'day Weekend

i'm baaaaack! lol This visit to Master proved to be most interesting.....rabbit explored some of her own boundaries and comfort zones by trying some very new things. Some of those would be bondage, erotic pain and stripping. i will get to the details later, promise. i got to try some things that were new and had a very wonderful and intense scene with Sir. rabbit and i brought Sir a gag gift of sorts (i'll tell you why i kind of considered it a gag gift) and He also had a gift for each of us! i felt a little bad about that since it was His birthday but i know that He had and will get pleasure out of the gifts He gave us so i feel lots better. What else...hmmmm. lol Quite a bit happened really and i can't wait to get it all written out. i am very happy that Sir told me from time to time to jot down notes, otherwise i might not remember it all...

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Birthday Visit

Finally, almost time to go!! Soon it will be Master's birthday and i love the idea of being able to visit Him to celebrate. Bringing rabbit as His present is the best. (i have NO clue what i am going to get Sir next year that will top this one-lol) i am soo excited with just a few touches of nervousness. rabbit is very nervous but she is excited as well. One thing that Sir suggested is that rabbit start an entry (for this blog) on the plane going to see Him....rabbit likes the idea and i think that her being able to write things out will help her absorb everything that happens. So expect to see her entry here in this blog. Lots of erotic (rabbit and i bought some massage oil just for the visit ::grin::), challenging, fun, nerve-wracking things to happen. This will be a wonderful visit i am sure and i cannot wait to see Sir again as well as rabbit cannot wait to meet Him. Other than that, i hope everyone stays well and i will write again in a few days!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Blogs

i had an entry all planned out, 90% written and everything. But however, i seem to have lost the steam to finish that entry and instead, have foraged forward with this one. Mainly having to do with slave thoughts and such. i have read many blogs, sampled quite a few for a short period of time and have even stuck with a few. But what is it that draws my attention so greatly to the select blogs that i read? Very true some of the scenes these other slaves describe make me aroused and sometimes reading them make me miss the r/t interaction with Master. But in the heart of it all, it is because we are all on the same journey. we have taken different paths, what we need and what we learn are different also. But it is the differences that binds us together as well as the similarities. we serve because that is what we love to do....it fills a place within us and gives us great joy. we all have caring Masters that watch over us, guide us and when we falter, moves us in the right direction. we have surrendered ourselves to Them, not out of coercion or a "have to" mindset. we do so because it is our desire to do so. To give and feel that trust, that willingness to please, the comfort of our Masters arms if we cry and to hear the gentle pride in Their voice when we have given it our all. Those are just a few of the similarities. How we differ, well...how we serve is different...the rules our Masters have and the consequences of breaking said rules also differs. What we as slaves enjoy, whether it be in serving or erotic pain is almost on a sliding scale. Who we are as people and how we see the world of course is different. But i think that the differences between us is also another reason why i love to read their blogs so much. Reading these other slave's blogs helps to sometimes put things into perspective. i have learned or thought about something in a different light because of reading them. i like reading how they are doing, what they have learned and how their dynamic is going. So in a way, i feel connected to those who also write....chances are i will never meet them or get to know them any deeper than i do now. But i am grateful that their words, thoughts and experiences are out there for others to read.

Monday, December 10, 2007

dirty talk

As i have journeyed down this path with Master, i have learned quite a few things about myself that i did not know. The newest one being that i like "dirty talk". Eeek. lol i figured that out when Master had taken me off restriction. However, i did not tell Him immediately but took the time to figure out (at least a little) if that was something that i enjoyed. Also i needed time to absorb that little bit of new information about myself. That was sooo hard to admit to Sir....i wasn't sure what He was going to think, or if it was something that He enjoyed doing. i know that He has experienced a great deal in this lifestyle and that not much surprises Him but for me, admitting that was a little hard. But Sir has always told me to tell Him what was going on in my head so i kept that in mind. i trust Sir with that information.....however nervous and shy i was about admitting that, i knew that He wouldn't laugh or anything like that. In fact He told me that He was proud of me for telling Him. So that is an avenue that Master is exploring with me right now and i must admit that i do enjoy it very much. It seems to tap into different parts of myself....when He tells me to say something i end up groaning or biting my lip out of arousal before i speak. i want to say these things but would normally not say anything at all. Sir gives me that space and the words to express the slut that belongs to Him. i lose myself in His voice, a sensual tone yet one that is also uncompromising. When He tells me to say something that gives me pause i have to reach into my submission to find the ability to say what He wants me to. Even though it is hard, i desire the words and i want to please Him. It is a different type of surrender....or maybe a deeper form. i haven't quite figured that out yet. i do know that Sir is the only person that has ever heard that part of me and even within the lust and arousal that flames through me, i cannot help but feel vulnerable and exposed to Him. It is intense in it's own way and, according to Master, brings out an intensity in me that He enjoys. So far this has been something that has been explored only over the phone and part of me cannot help but wonder that if it is intense over the phone, how it will be in r/l should it please Him to do so. The thought of the combination of His hands, His body, His voice so close to me, the feel of His Dominance and sensuality, mixed in with erotic pain and the words that could spill over my lips makes for a wonderful fantasy and i am already aroused, so i will sign off for now. Here's to happy dreams.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

A rose by any other name

Just in case, for those of you that have not noticed, i used the term Master to refer to Sir quite often in my last entry. This is because Sir has instructed me to start using Master as well as Sir when referring about Him when speaking to someone. So now i have both titles i am allowed to use. Because of this i will no longer tack "my" onto "Master" either in writing or in speech. Writing has not been that difficult but since i have been given permission, i have used the title Master when i refer to Sir with rabbit. It felt different....not bad at all but different. At first i thought that verbally addressing Him as Master to others would be easy but breaking the habit of only calling Him Sir by this new addition of titles has been a little difficult thus far. It is one of those things i think will come more naturally with time. It is very nice though to be able to call Him Master to others. For me the strongest aspect of referring to Him as Master is that the word slave seems to flash in my head and serves as yet another reminder of the path i have chosen. It is another new thing i am learning to do. As this is Master's desire, i will endeavor to do my very best to please Him.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Allowance vs. Restriction

Being on restriction is very nice....it is something that i enjoy although it can get a little hard to do at times. Being off restriction is now more fun than it used to be. lol To explain....my Master took me off restriction for 2 weeks before He left on His trip. Way back when, whenever He took me off restriction, i didn't enjoy it that much. i think that that was partly due to the fact that i did not really know how to enjoy my body nor did i really take the time to masturbate fully. i used to be really nervous about being off restriction because i didn't really didn't know what to do with myself! lol Since Master has helped teach me (by making sure i did take my time by setting time limits for what i should do) how my body reacts and what it likes, i have come to enjoy masturbating much more than i used to. So when He took me of restriction this time, i took full advantage of it. i am not going to go into specifics but i will say i was masturbating every day (and sometimes twice a day...lol) There were a few times that Sir decided to use me during that period of time, which always makes what He has me doing so much more pleasurable. i love being used by Master when He sees fit and i consider it a surprise and a privilege when ever He does so. Master tells me so casually to go to my room and grab my vibe that sometimes it takes me a moment to fully comprehend what He is most likely going to do. lol But i am wandering off topic. When He left for His trip i was back on restriction and oh goodness it got hard. i became accustomed to masturbating whenever i had the urge so having to repress that was not fun. There were times it felt like my body was begging for any type of sensation and my mind was wishing for Master to use me. Omg.... There was one time i took one of my "sexy" baths and i had to get out after only 10 minutes because of the urge to play with myself. i told Master this and i remember Him laughing over it...i pouted for about half a second and then my own voice joined His in laughter. It had been a while since i really had to use my submission not to masturbate and i felt tested at times. But i did as Master wanted me to do and i am happy that i did.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

A lesson revisited

Last night Sir had me add an additional aspect to my nightly ritual. He also instructed me to write a letter to Him telling of how the events unfolded. After reading it He decided i should share it with my readers. So below is my letter to Sir.


Good morning Sir,
The additional task You gave me went well tonight. It took a minute to get it in....i tried to rush it and ended up feeling stretched in a way that was not too pleasant. ::grin:: May i say here Sir, thank You for giving me this task to do so that i may be prepared for this upcoming visit? Well i slowed down (a lot) and that seemed to help. i hope that this is okay Sir, but once i got it in, i took a minute to sit and breath. i tried to feel the fullness of the plug and become accustomed to it. To be honest, it wasn't very comfortable.....it has been a while since i have used the plug and moving around seemed to make it worse. lol i did focus on my submission quite a bit though Sir, something i hope pleases You to hear. i did get used to the full feeling from the plug though by the time i finished my
positions...i think that with more practice it will cease to be a problem at all. Pos. 1 and 2 went very well.....pos.3 made me feel a little exposed and even though i was alone, i took a breath before finishing pos.3 Sir. i couldn't help it...lol. It just felt a bit nerve wracking, more so since at that time i had a picture of You in my head. Once i left pos.3 and went into pos.4 i felt a bit more....well....less giggly. Pos. 5 was interesting....the pressure from sitting about drove me crazy Sir. lol Goodness. i made myself stay still because i had started to wiggle around, trying to find a way for the plug to become more comfortable but to no avail. It reminded me of driving with the plug in Sir, which made me smile. Pos.6 was the most comfortable out of all of them Sir. Which i think is partly because i love that position and usually whenever i use the plug i am in that position and i stay there. So that went beautifully i think Sir. Pos.7 was....hmmmm. lol Having the plug in with my legs raised up put a different type of pressure from the plug. Almost like it was being pushed down on, even though it wasn't. It wasn't as obvious once i started to breath deeply although imaging doing that in front of You with the plug in caused a nervous giggle Sir. Position 8 was fairly easy although going into pos. 9 was pretty cool really. Again with the pressure being different Sir. Having my back bent at that angle seemed to once again push the plug in further, i at least knew there was no way it was going to come out. Sir. lol By the time i was in pos. 6, the plug stopped being really uncomfortable....the fullness still felt a little weird...in a good way, but still very different. i was able to focus on my submission and let that calmness over take me, even though part of me was focused on the plug as well. Overall though, i did have fun with it Sir. Even had a few giggles and was also reminded me of my submission when the plug felt really uncomfortable.
When i went into pos.6 for my meditation i thought that i would become fully accustomed to the plug being in my ass Sir. But even staying still the constant fullness would throw me off guard. There was even one time i would have liked to take it out Sir. But i didn't so i am happy about that. While meditating, i thought of my submission and how far i have come so far in this journey. Everything i have learned and how much there is still to learn about and experience Sir. i thought about this upcoming visit and how it may push my submission but how it will strengthen it as well. i thought about everything that was going to happen and then i started to get aroused Sir. lol i am sorry, it just kind of happened. Well, then the plug was a little uncomfortable but in a great way Sir. Omg...part of me felt stretched in a way i hadn't been in a while and the other part of me wanted to move the plug in and out. i did not masturbate Sir but i thought that this observance was interesting. i knew that the plug may not feel that great if i were to move it but it still sounded like good idea. Almost like that good type of pain Sir? i don't know....normally if i think that something won't feel that great, i won't do it to myself unless You instruct me to. But this time, i thought that the idea sounded pretty good. i am a little confused i think, wondering where that train of thought came from during my meditation. May i ask You for Your insight Sir? After finishing my meditation i took the plug out, washed and put it away and then sat down to type. Although i did grab something small to eat Sir. So here i am, almost done with this letter, hoping that it has put a smile on Your face Sir. i know i feel happy with tonight and relaxed.

Friday, November 30, 2007

What dreams may come

my visit with rabbit for Sir's birthday is coming up and i am so excited that i am doing happy jumps inside!! lol rabbit is excited albeit rather nervous as well. i can't say that i blame her....i know how nerve-wracking it was the first time i met Sir. my emotions range from nervous to excited, apprehension to excited all mixed in with a high amount of anticipation. i know some of the things my Master has planned will push my submission. Yet they all sound so very erotic as well...goodness. lol There are many new things that will be explored and experienced on many levels for all three of us, makes this visit even more special. For me, one avenue my Master wants to explore is my re-awakening bi-sexuality. rabbit knows how long it has been since i have touched (intimately) or fu*ked another female so she understands why i am nervous. In fact, she finds it a little funny. There is so much planned for this visit that Sir and i agreed that it might be best to write down my expereinces at the end of each day otherwise i may not be able to remember everything unless i do so. i have the feeling it will take me a while to write all of it down when i get back. lol i do have some wonderful images in my head though....all three of us cuddling together for a quiet moment and of course my favorite fantasy of me and another female giving Sir a massage. rabbit and i are even buying a bottle of vanilla massage oil.....i know that Sir desires to see rabbit and i give each other massages and slick bodies can never be a bad thing. *grin* There have been some pictures (of two women being intimate) that my Master has shared with me that i must admit arouses me...blush. Just the thought of Sir laying in bed with a girl on each side makes me all warm inside. On a different note, i will be able to show rabbit that part of me she has only seen glimpses of when i am on the phone with Sir. she can see how the dynamic between my Master and i works....she will be able to really see my submission/slavery to Him instead of imagining it. This is something that i am happy to share with her more so since she is beginning to discover her submissive side. In with that, rabbit will strip (or more to the point be displayed naked) for someone for the first time. she will do things she has fantasized about (yet never had the courage to say anything about-until now lol) as well as she will receive her first spanking. i know my Master is excited about that and so am i. i have never watched Sir Dominate another female, so that will be cool to watch as well. Soooo many wonderful things to happen. rabbit thinks that being "given away" as a present is very erotic and i am so happy that i am able to please my Master by providing Him with what He really wanted for His birthday. This visit will be very fun i think as well as enlightening with many new experiences. i can hardly wait!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

20 seconds

i just finished my nightly ritual. With the new addition, which is doing my positions, holding each position for a slow count of 20 seconds. After going through my positions i then do my 15 minutes of meditation in position 6. Well....life has been stressful lately, something in which we all know can happen. Tonight, i stayed in pos.1 and held it. 20 seconds came and gone.....all i did was stay there and breath. Struggled to find that place within me....the place that is beyond the chaos which is sometimes my life. i know i could have just did my count to 20 and then switch positions but i was yearning, needing that deep seeded calmness that resides within my submission. i don't feel "out of whack" often but when i do, it seems to all but consumes me. So i waited and then the image of my Master, sitting and gently smiling came to mind. i felt my body slowly settle in position, my mind started to slow as my entire self fully focused on my submission to Him. It was then that i switched positions. As i went through each position, the gentle intensity within me grew until by the time i hit position 5 i was fully within that wonderful place which Sir has guided me to. my eyes were closed, breath deep and even with images in my head of sitting by His feet, with His hand stroking my hair. With each continuing position my body would flow from one transition to the next, almost like a dance of sorts. Still kept my count of 20 seconds but i just let myself float as much as possible. (in r/l the emotions are infinitely more intense and longer lasting) When i went into my meditation position, i lost track of time. i just let myself feel and for whatever reason affirmations went running through my head, although instead of thinking them, i found myself answering them out loud. Words are powerful and even now my mind is calm and focused. i didn't think about yesterday or tomorrow....the only thing that was on my mind was the simple joy i get from pleasing my Master and how happy i am being His. i am not sure how tomorrow will be but i figure i will let it figure itself out on it's own. lol 20 seconds isn't a long time, indeed it is very short but sometimes 20 seconds is all you need.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Sir's trip


Sir left few days ago on a trip out of the country. From what pictures and web sites i have seen it is really beautiful in some parts and i was excited albeit a little sad to see Him go. At first it was thought that my Master would not be able to call me for the entire 12 days....call rates soar so very long conversations were out. At first i was a little mixed about my Master leaving.....sure enough i was happy that He was going to do something new but also i knew i was going to miss speaking with Him very much. i was also worried about how His trip would go and if He would make it every where He wanted to go safely. (Although i have gotten much better with traveling, sometimes i still get a little nervous myself) Truth be told, i was more worried about how everything would go for Him than not being able to speak with Him. The really good news is that A) His trip has gone wonderful so far, He has seen some really astounding sites, He did something really really cool the other day and He has eaten foods He has never tried before. Also He has met some really interesting people and has had a good time so far. B) So far my Master has seen fit to call me everyday, although i know that there may be days He will not be able to. i love hearing from Him, to hear how His day has gone and what His thoughts are of where He is. The stories He tells me are sometimes really funny or what He describes is wonderful. Also, i feel better being able to connect with Him for even a brief period of time. That is something that i am very grateful for and i feel lucky that He is willing to spend the time (and the money) speaking with me, even for just 15 minutes. i am not sure if humbled would be the correct word, i just know that i feel privileged when He does call. Overall, so far so good. lol i very much hope that the rest of His trip goes well and that He sees some really wonderful things.

Monday, November 19, 2007

10,000

It is amazing.....the counter finally hit 10,000!! And now here is the really interersting part....it was my Master, looking to see what number the blog was up to, that turned it to 10,000! How cool is that.....really?? lol

This is just a quick note to say thank you to everyone who has read this blog and to those who still read about my journey. It has been amazing so far and knowing that there is still so much left to explore leaves me looking forward to the future. Here's to future blogs and bondage (and everything else)

xoxo
chai

Sunday, November 18, 2007

rabbit update


This is just a quick update on rabbit....the other night, as Sir was on the phone with rabbit and i, she did something that surprised Sir. (and me as well) i was on the phone speaking with Sir and she asked Him for permission to go to the bathroom! Sir did not prod her to do so, instead she did it because she thought it to be the proper way to show Him respect. Considering she is new to the lifestyle it was an action i nor Sir predicted. my Master told her that she was a good girl and i could not help but smile with rabbit at His words.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Rabbit Update

Something interesting has happened lately. It would seem that my friendship with rabbit has taken an interesting turn. As i have already told everyone, rabbit is coming with me to visit Sir soon. During this visit, she will explore aspects such as domestic service, sexual service and a touch of erotic pain here and there. i am sooo excited about this visit and so is rabbit and Sir. Well, in addition to all of this occurring, it would seem that rabbit enjoys the idea of a poly lifestyle, albeit a bit nervous as well. she has experimented with poly before although it did not end well (too much jealousy) and has voiced her concerns with me about it. But she still likes the idea and it looks like that she may become the third that my Master and i have looked for, at least temporarily. i really like the idea of rabbit becoming part of our poly family with my Master and i. she is a very good friend and new to the lifestyle but eager to learn. i think what it is really, is the fact that i know i can trust her. i know she won't be a brat (she is way to mature to be like that), she is responsible and she understands what the dynamic is about. Also, on a more personal note, i know that she will not try to shove me out of Sir's life in an attempt to assure her place in His (i think that could happen...even without someone meaning to) she really sees poly as a family....the same concept that Sir and i share. Since she has begun to be exposed to our dynamic and is slowly learning about herself and the lifestyle, there are changes i see in her. she has become more open about talking about things and she is not as guarded as she once was. she seems a bit more sure in knowing who she is and overall i think that her confidence in herself is growing. It is cute to watch her blush and then laugh at the questions Sir and i pose as well as when she answers them. The other night, rabbit and Sir were on the phone and Sir instructed her on how she is to ask to cum during her visit. i will admit that i got quite the giggle out of her facial expressions but on a serious note, i know how hard that was to do. she had to pull from herself and the inside and for the first time, she really did something to please someone else (from a submissive standpoint), even though it made her uncomfortable. i was very proud of her....more so since the first time i did anything like that it was just Sir and i....i didn't have someone staring at me. But she did it and was happy that she did. i can only wonder what will happen when she and i go see Him, although i have the feeling that this all may very well turn into something wonderful.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Three


This entry comes from a letter that my Master suggested i write to another slave about what i think a poly dynamic should entail. When discussing a poly dynamic with other subs or people in general, sometimes it is difficult to decide which attribute or aspect to approach first. i think the number one thing on my list is friendship between all three of us. There have been a few subs that either He or i or both have spoken to that only seem interested in Him. Of course my view is that both subs/slaves should be focused on Him but also think that a relationship between her and i should be strong as well. In my mind a sister sub would pretty much be one of my best friends....someone i am fond of and genuinely care about and vise versa. i would like to be able to confide in her and be able to share experiences with her, to be able to go out and have coffee with His permission. Also, being able to serve my Master beside another sub who feels the depth of her submission and wishes to explore it is another wonderful aspect. There are so many things that i would love to explore with a sister sub that i respect and am friends with.
Within a poly dynamic i see that truthfully there would be 4 parts. There would be the relationship between Master and her, He and i, she and i and then the dynamic that all three of us would share. i see it as there would be a different relationship between my Master and her and Him and i since our (the subs) needs, likes and dislikes would be different. That is a natural occurrence and one i think should not cause jealousy. That seems to be a concern with most subs/slaves i have spoken to and that concern is not without some merit. Although i think that with good communication between all three people that can be avoided. No doubt, a poly dynamic would not always be easy but i truly think that the rewards would be more than worth the effort.
In response to my letter, she raised the concern of being confided in and yet telling Sir all that was said in our conversation. That too is important and i wrote back to her stating that i agreed for there is nothing i should tell her that my Master does not already know or should not be aware of. i think that could also be problematic....there have been times i have needed to sort out a problem with someones help. Really to just need a third persons perspective or to vent. So i see her concern as a valid one. Where do you draw the line at having a conversation with someone, knowing that they just need to vent and having a conversation that has an important tone that effects the dynamic? Is there even a line there really? i guess there are quite a few questions and situations that could occur but playing "what if" i think may be a waste of time. The best possible thing to do (in my opinion) would be to take it one day at a time and see what happens. But as i stated to the sub i wrote, the rewards would be worth the energy and time spent.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Finding Tears

There was a particular scene that Sir and i did this past visit that shook my emotional self to the point where my Master agrees with me when i describe myself as an emotional yo yo after that scene. During the scene as well was a rollercoaster of sorts, my inner self flipping from one end to the other and eventually finding a middle ground within the chaos of my mind. It started out easy enough with my Master using the "thuddy" flogger, soft at first then with increasing pressure but nothing i could not handle with just deep breaths. He then started to mix a couple of medium strokes and then a hard fast one that had me squirming. i cannot remember in what order things came next but i will describe each as best as i can. At one point in time Sir pulled out the stingy flogger and oh.....my.....goodness. It stung quite a bit and thus started the frantic searching inside my head on how to breath through it all. Sir also decided to use the stinger.....i was standing, legs spread with Sir kneeling between my legs.i couldn't close them and part of me wanted to close my legs, move..... do something. By that time He had used the thuddy and stingy flogger and the cane. It is hard to describe.....i was sort of panicked.....i knew that i was safe but at the same time not knowing how long all of this would last about drove me insane. One time that stands out in my mind is when He had finished using the cane and left me standing in the middle of the room. He only left me there for about 10 seconds....all He did was turn around and go through His toy bag, looking for something, although i did not know what at the time. While His back was turned, i felt the tears in the back of my eyes and a little voice inside my head was saying "too much, too much!!" my heart was pounding, my breath a bit shaky and i was sooo nervous not knowing what He was going to do next. But here is the really cool part....once i stopped fighting the tears, it suddenly wasn't too much. Yes i was being pushed and my reaction showed that but holding it in was hurting me more than what was happening. (i hope that makes sense) Well, the next thing i know Sir has the stinger in Has hand, although i felt it before i saw it really. Owwwwwww. lol No i wasn't really looking at what was in His hand. (But i knew what it was the moment i felt it, that's for sure!) In fact, while my Master was using the stinger i had the craziest urge to giggle, even though i was crying and wanting it to end (somewhat-lol). A whole slew of emotions ran through me the entire time. Something that stands out is that from time to time, Sir would hold my face, look into my eyes and give me a kiss. During that tender, slow moment i would feel an increase of arousal. i knew that He was doing this for a reason and that i could trust Him. Yet another example of what i call "calm facts". Even with my emotions bouncing off the walls, the fact that i had no idea what He was going to do....in the calm space within my mind, i knew that He wasn't going to hurt me. i think because of that, my emotional, mental and physical self was able to grasp the erotic feel of His lips and hear the gentle pride in His voice when He would say good girl. (i am a happy slave whenever He says that) After He had used the stinger, my Master had me lie back on His bed, told me not to move my legs and continued with the stinger along with a couple of other items. When He was done, He had me sit up next to Him at which time all i could do was lean against Him and just feel His strength. How calming it is to have ones Master just hold you after a scene in which the sub/slave is pushed. As we were talking, i confessed that i still had the urge to cry....an urge i am not sure weather or not surprised my Master. He told me in a calm voice that that was okay and if i still needed to let it out i could and should. So i did. lol i think i just needed that extra bit of release although i was a bit cuddly for sometime after...but Sir is very kind and understanding about after-care so He allowed me the time i needed to gather myself together. i have said before that Sir gives me that safe harbor in which to just let go of what ever i am feeling and i am happy that i am getting better at doing that. As with many scenes Sir and i have done, this one made everything feel a little surreal for a little bit although i was very happy afterward. Happy that i had pleased Him, happy that i made it through the scene, happy that i was able to let go emotionally even more and very happy becuase.....well......my Master decided to push me and through it all i know that i had made Him proud. What more could a slave ask for?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

slave kabobs cont.


After k and i had walked into the living room to Sir and M, i asked if anyone wanted dessert. Well Sir was the only one who wanted dessert at the time so i went back into the kitchen while k went to sit at M's feet. When i returned, k was in pos. 5 with her legs spread....yes again i looked. lol Well Sir had me get into the same position as well and while i was there, k slipped into a position quite closely resembling pos 6. (Now please bear with me, this is where the order of things may get messed up lol) Needless to say k had a pretty good view of my cu*t and she was looking as well...yay me!! lol Well somehow she and i got to joking about if she had a long enough tongue i would have to beg Sir's permission to let her do it, or something to that effect. That lead into a joke about how Sir and M were both looking at k and i. That is where M got the new nickname "King Leer". It was rather funny really. At one point in time Sir had me stand up and get into pos.1 saying that it had been a while since He had me do positions. Just being in pos.1 felt very good to do and i wondered if my Master was going to have me go through all nine. But that is not what He had in mind for the moment. While i was in pos.1 M started to lightly (i think) slap k's cu*t!! Omg.....lol. To be honest all i could do was stare but in a good way. i have never seen someone do something like that in front of me before i must admit that i found it kind of erotic and yet at the same time, i took an observers pov. Really just curious about k's reaction to what M was doing. While this was happening, Sir released me from pos.1 and had me sit back down at His feet. So i got to watch M play with k for a little bit doing various things and then Sir had me crawl over His lap for a spanking. He made the comment that He had not given me spanking yet that day....to explain, it is almost like a ritual really. When i enter Sir's house i (almost all the time) am instructed to strip and place myself over His lap for a spanking. However with what time i arrived and what needed to be done, there simply was not time to do so. So my Master decided that then would be a good time to do so. Instead of feeling nervous, i only felt excitement and happiness. As you all know i love being spanked by my Master and Him doing so in front of M and k did not bother me in the least. After fu*king k with the strap-on i am not sure if there is much that would make me too nervous. A little nervous, definitely, but nothing that would cause me to pause in my actions. So i placed myself over His lap the way that He desired me to and just relaxed onto Him. i heard k moan or groan from time to time....i would hear light slaps and all i could do was wonder what was happening and i got pretty curious. lol While i had an audio experience Sir was spanking me and i became pretty aroused and wet. At the same time, i was also getting a bit frustrated.....Sir was spanking me pretty hard but for some reason i felt like i was in between sub space and normal. Part of me really wanted to go into sub space while another part of me was really enjoying hearing k's moans and my Master and M casually speaking to each other. The whole thing was erotic and kind of surreal to a point and i enjoyed everything very much. Then comes the blushing...lol. At some point in time, i think it was M who commented on me being quiet and the next thing i know i was ordered to turn my position so i was facing Sir's couch where M and k where. The next thing i know i have a perfect view of k's cu*t....omg. her legs were spread pretty far apart with her feet on the floor and M doing.....well i can't remember what actually. i do remember that He was using her cu*t at the time and k was enjoying herself quite a bit. i liked hearing and seeing her aroused and definitely enjoying herself. Being laid over my Master's lap where He would spank me from time to time was just wonderful while i was being allowed to observe and watch what was going on. When k came close to cumming, Sir made a comment about asking permission to cum and M told k that since it was His (my Master's) house it was only polite to ask Sir's permission to cum. i loved it, i loved it....lol. k obeyed Him and asked my Master for permission to cum and He told her "not yet". Oh goodness that was new...not only did i get to see her all aroused i also got to see her work with orgasm control. i was a little split about that....i know hard it can be to hold off an orgasm and i have a soft spot for other subs/slaves having to go through stuff. On the other side it was arousing to hear someone other than myself ask Sir for permission to cum and the fact that she was ordered to ask by M was really rather interesting. After a short amount of time, k asked again and this time my Master gave permission and i got see and hear another women orgasm in r/l. Wow...lol. It seems that every time M and k come around i end up doing or experiencing something new....true enough there is plenty i haven't done yet but i am always willing to try. After all was said and done k went back to do positions and somehow i ended up on the floor at Sir's feet once again. (Such a lovely place to be) But that, amongst other details, i do not remember. At the end of the night k got re-dressed and we all chatted for a little while longer before they left. When leaving, we all exchanged hugs and said what a wonderful time that we had. i am not sure if it would be possible to have anything but fun with M and k around to be honest. lol They have become very good friends and i must admit i am wondering what will happen that next time Sir and i see them. Whatever it may be i am sure that a wonderful time will be had by all.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

slave kabobs


Sir and i made plans for M and k to come to His house for dinner.....i was really happy and excited to see M and k again as they have become good friends of Sir and i. They showed up soon after Sir had started a fire in the fire place and everything was set to make dinner. After saying hello and hugs we all went into the kitchen where M and k sat down and Sir and i started on dinner (Sir loves to cook). While Sir and i were fixing everything k took off her top. Now that didn't bother me to be honest.....i have gotten used to seeing her naked so i didn't really think anything of it. i was still dressed so that was different.....i wasn't sure what Sir had in mind regarding my clothing but i figured i wouldn't worry about it for the time being and concentrated on speaking with everyone and making dinner. After a little bit longer k took of her skirt and i will admit i looked when opportunity presented itself...just being honest. lol Then something rather interesting happened. Sir has this drawer in His kitchen which holds miscellaneous items...wooden skewers, wooden laundry pins and a few other items. i am not sure how it happened but while dinner was being prepared, my Master took them out and put them on the counter. So M put a couple of the pins on k's nipples, let them sit there a couple of minutes and then kind of yanked them off. Ohhhh....that hurt to look at. lol Painful yet intriguing. i had to giggle with k when that happened and then i turned around and resumed helping with dinner. At one point in time, i was facing the sink and i remember Sir coming behind me and lifted my shirt over my head and then unbuttoned my skirt and dragged it down my body. This again, i wasn't too shocked about to be honest....a little surprised since my Master normally has me take off my clothing instead of Him doing it. But i must admit it was a bit of a turn on for Him to strip me in His kitchen. lol Sir does not normally undress me although it was rather nice. As for the dinner itself....i must say that my Master makes a wonderful London Broil. Sooo yummy! Lots of wonderful conversation ranging from vanilla matters to BDSM centered. i always greatly enjoy hanging out with M and k and tonight was no exception. After dinner was done k helped me clean up....while Sir and M got a few ideas. Sir grabbed a couple of wooden skewers and decided to bend them back and let them snap back on my ass a couple of time. i do not remember who suggested it, but someone made the suggestion that Sir put His name on my ass.....well i didn't get His name on my ass as my Master decided that His initials were enough. Omg....it hurt, yet felt good, and i held onto the counter trying hard not to move or jump. i ended up doing it anyways...lol. But when He was finished you could clearly make out His initials on my ass....a temporary branding i think M called it. After Sir was done with me, M was using the skewer on k and then Sir jumped in on it as well. lol i was a little surprised that k did not move the entire time until she said that she was afraid that if she moved the pain would go away. i must admit that i did laugh a little at that....it wasn't what she said (i can understand where she is coming from) but rather how she said it. The only way i could put it is cute and even she giggled a little bit. Watching that happen was very interesting...i got a little aroused yet i must admit that i was mostly curious about her reaction. The whole thing was done in a lighthearted manner really so i think everyone was pretty relaxed the entire time. After k and i got slapped with the skewers i was actually pretty happy and kept giggling....since almost every time i turned around there was a comment about His initials on my ass. (Sir was happy that they were still there...since marks fade quickly on me) But i was proud that i stood still enough for Him to do it and i even asked Sir if i could get a picture of it before the marks went away. Which was forgotten about but there is a very fun, new and good reason why. After all of that had occurred k and i finished up cleaning the kitchen while Sir and M went into the living room to chat, which also gave k and i time to speak as well. After she and i had finished cleaning we went into the living room where Sir and M where at. All of what happened next was new in some ways and also very fun although i did blush a few times.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Wow


Sir and i were on the couch cuddling when He made the comment that He thought that i should go into the shower. i said "yes Sir" but did not move for a few moments....He allowed me to stay within His arms for a few more moments and then told me to go ahead and go. i hopped off the couch and replied once again "yes Sir". my voice was a little subdued because i was thinking about what i was going to do.....or attempt to do anyways. i took off all of my clothes, folded them up and kneeled in the shower to wait for Him. Very shortly He came in and my breath caught in my chest and my eyes closed briefly.....when i opened them once again i watched Sir unzip His pants and pull out His c*ck. i took a deep breath to calm myself and as He started to pee on me my eyes just closed. i couldn't help it...so much was going through my head. i opened my mouth and concentrated on keeping my mouth open. At first He started on my breasts and then started to pee into my mouth. As i did last time, i gently pushed it out but then something new happened.....i swallowed. Not just a tiny bit but a reasonable amount. Omg....it is hard to describe how it felt. i didn't plan on it, in fact, it just kind of happened. When i realized what i did my mind froze for just a second and then this astounding rush of submission and humbleness hit me. i kept my mouth open and i dimly heard Sir say "good girl". The next thing i knew i swallowed again....part of me didn't believe i did it the first time. lol The second time i swallowed even more of His pee and Sir told me later that He could see my throat work when i did. The feeling in the room (at least for me) seemed to change....all i could feel was my submission and His Dominance. Amazing in my opinion..... i swallowed a third time and by that time i could swear i was in sub-space. Not the same as when Sir uses the flogger or crop but i was in this head space where the world around me seemed to fade away. After Sir had finished, my eyes were still closed and for the life of me they wanted to stay that way. lol i do remember opening them briefly and saw Sir had squatted next to the shower. i closed my eyes once again....the moment still seemed so intense and i was still in that lovely head space. He asked me if i was with Him and i remember giving Him a non-verbal response....my mouth didn't want to work either apparently. i opened my eyes and He looked into them, tenderly stroked my face and ask me what i was. "i am Your slave Sir" was my response, barely above a whisper. He told me i was a good girl once again, gently kissed me on my lips and just let me stay there kneeling for a minute. i am sure that my Master could see how "rocked' i was by the experience and He gave me the time to kind of collect myself before helping me up so i could take a shower. The time showering was pretty cool....it was almost like being drunk. lol Perhaps a bad analogy but.....you know how when you get a little tipsy, you can still see everything but it feels surreal to a certain point? Well that is how i was feeling while i was bathing. Sir would come in and look at me and all i could to was smile at Him. How very very wonderful. Even after i got out, the feeling of that deep heartfelt submission stayed with me for a couple of hours and even now i can remember how i felt. i may not be able to describe it very well but i remember with such clarity. Swallowing for the first time was astounding. Although i always feel that depth of submission whenever Sir decides to pee on me, swallowing seemed to take golden showers to a new level as well as my submission. The whole event was incredible and i was so very happy that i was able to please Him and take another step into our exploration of golden showers. i am hoping that next time i will be able to swallow even more for Him and eventually be able to not have to kneel in the shower period unless Sir wants me to. Yet another wonderful step into this journey with my Master and as always i am looking forward to whatever else may come.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Caught in the Headlights


"Drop your pants." Quietly, firmly said by my Master as He held a miniature cane in one of His hands. i have never truly hesitated following a command given by Him but this time i froze. He and i were in a public store...true enough it was a BDSM themed store....one that sold collars, canes, crops, floggers, BDSM clothing and other paraphernalia. But is was still a public place. There were other people in the store (all men i might add) and i wasn't wearing any underwear. How this came about is that Sir was looking at canes...He let me feel a couple of them and chose one and lightly whacked me on my ass with it. It didn't sting at all and when Sir asked me if i felt it, i told Him "no Sir" He then walked to the other side of me, got this serious expression on His face and ordered me to drop my pants. For about 10 seconds i thought He was joking and then reality hit....He really meant for me to drop my pants in the middle of the store!!! In front of people....with no underwear on!! Omg......my heart dropped into my stomach and started to race. i was praying that He would change His mind but i knew He meant what He said. So i stood there, hopping from foot to foot, looking decidedly uncomfortable and by Sir's words, distressed. i had my hands on the counter, looking down and part of me wanted to beg for me to keep my clothes on. i wanted to do as He instructed but i still could not seem to wrap my head around His request....He repeated Himself and with my emotions flying around at the speed of light, i tried to focus on my submission. i tried to make everything around me fade away.....to a place where my concentration was on my Master and what He wanted me to do. But it was sooo hard. i kept getting images of some man walking behind me getting a perfect view of my cu*t...eeekkk! i saw Him smile from time to time as He saw my struggle with the concept, trying to process what He wanted me to do. As i started to calm down and accept the fact that i was going to drop my pants for a very possible public caning some guy comes out of no where and asks me if i am okay. my Master was not pleased in the least...in fact He got a little pissed. i remember hearing Him say "she's fine"...and not in a nice way. i answered "never better"....looking back i should not have responded but i didn't know if everything was okay or not. It did break the scene though....Sir was a bit angry and my concentration of pulling from my submission was a bit lost. However, after the guy had left i was still really nervous....in my mind i was thinking i still needed to obey His command. In an attempt for more time to think, i even asked Sir if we could ask the clerk if me dropping my pants would be okay.....lol. i was really really nervous. Sir kind of waited around, spoke to the clerk (the clerk told Him it would be okay lol) and i followed Him around the store. Somehow, without my Master telling me, i kind of knew that the scene would not be occurring. On the same note, i also knew that He could turn around and tell me to drop my pants at anytime, so i was a bundle of nerves the rest of the time in the store. Every time He would look at me i thought He was going to tell me to strip. lol When we got back in His car i was quiet....i felt bad for not responding immediately, i felt that i had failed in a way. Sir told me that He knew i would do as He requested, once i wrapped my brain around the idea but i still felt a little bad about it. Looking back on the scene in the store later on in the day, i told Sir that even though i was really nervous and it was pretty hard, i still wished that the scene that He wanted to do, hadn't been interrupted. Sir felt the same....He wanted to push me mentally and He wanted me to use my submission. That is the first time that anything, like a scene being interrupted, has ever happened and i hope that it will be the last. i trust Sir to push me where He wants me and i think experiencing something like that would have, in the end, been wonderful. On a positive note, what i did get to experience was very nerve-wracking yet pretty cool.....who knows, maybe Sir will see fit to do something like that again. i know for sure that i will be blushing but hopefully i will be able to process and respond a lot faster than this past time.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Bats, Rabbits and King Leer

Well here i am, back at home once again from a visit at Sir's house. Ohhhh goodness...this visit was very intense in some ways. This weekend He pushed me a bit further....a bit harder. There was a break through with golden showers and for the first time, i truly tried to talk my way out of doing something that my Master requested of me. Yes, i would have done it once i wrapped my head around what He told me to do, but that was my initial reaction. Don't worry, everything will be explained in time. ::grin:: Dinner with M (now known as King "Leer"-lol) and k went wonderful and i got my first real life taste of voyeurism. Eeek!! lol Actually it was pretty cool...although i did blush a little. This visit was very fun and although my Master decided to push me kind of hard (in my opinion lol), in the end i was smiling and pleased with myself from pleasing Him. Ohh and it is official....the tickets are bought, plans are made and i will be bringing my birthday present (rabbit, with a purple ribbon around her neck) to Sir the next time i go to Him!! So overall this weekend was wonderful, as are all of my visits to my Master. Sometimes it is pretty amazing what can happen in just a couple of days......did i mention that Sir and i saw the bat-mobile??

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Something New

Recently i have introduced everybody to my new friend "rabbit". i don't want to be overly optomistic but i thought it would be fun to write little updates of her progression with her submission. So look forward to *rabbit updates* from here on out.


For my first update, rabbit has been instructed on how to address Sir in a proper manner. she is getting accustomed to doing so but it is rather cute to watch her blush when she says "Hello Mr. R"

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Bye Bye Bye

This is going to be my last entry for a few days for the time has come around yet again for me to go to my Master! Yay!! lol i am always excited to go and see Him and with this visit i, again, have no idea what exactly is going to happen. i do know that M and k are coming over for dinner and then the next day Sir is taking me to get my hair cut. All the stuff in between, i don't have much of a clue. lol That always makes me a little nervous.....excited and curious as well. Sir has spoken of using the chamber pot, the tenns unit, He told me to bring my butt plug and of course there is that fantasy He had me write. Sooo...what He is thinking of doing, i am not really sure of. The one thing i am sure of is exploring more into golden showers....hopefully to where i can swallow some of His pee before the visit is over. i am pretty nervous about doing that but i am also so very happy and excited to try for Him. Hmmm, i am sure that lots will happen, so i am sure that i will be writing when i return. Bye until then!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

rabbit

There is something new in the wind at the moment....she is a friend of mine whom Sir has nicknamed rabbit. Well rabbit and i have been friends for just a short while but she and i just "clicked". After a couple of weeks of getting to know one another and her many questions about my collar, (she at first thought it was a choker) i decided to tell her about the lifestyle i share with Sir, our dynamic and BDSM in general. she wasn't turned off about BDSM, just the opposite really. she was very curious about everything contained therein and asked me endless questions. lol In many ways, rabbit reminds both Sir and i of me 10 months ago....very curious and shy but eager to explore her submission. So it has been decided among the three of us that she will come with me to visit Sir sometime in the future. Omg!! lol i am really very excited and so is she. There are a few reasons as to why she is coming....for starters she is my birthday present to Sir. (so better than a tie- lol) and for those of you wondering, she is fully aware of this fact and is not only excited to be His present but she also finds it to be a very erotic thought to be "given away". There are many things that Sir wishes to explore with her when she visits...bondage, forced orgasm, crawl training my continuing journey into my bi-sexual side (that opens many doors to her visit) and of course the many ways my submission will be used and rabbit's starting journey into her own submission. Really very exciting stuff. On the topic of rabbit discovering her own submission, it is my Master's intent that she be able to explore her submission through domestic service, ritual and protocol as well as some sexual service. i think the best part is that she knows that she gets to freely explore all of things in a safe environment....where she can relax and know that nothing will happen that she doesn't agree to. rabbit also has quite a few erotic fantasies that Sir is planning on exploring as well as a few of His own. (ohhh boy- blushing will occur i am sure lol) Some of the things He has planned so far gives me a strong dose of nervous anticipation as well as arousal. i haven't really touched, played or fu*ked another female in years! (literally) So all of this does make me a bit nervous....funny, that is one thing rabbit is not really nervous about at all. lol i think that all of this is wonderful....i truly like rabbit and have become fast friends with her and i think that this upcoming visit will be made so much better because of that fact. More to come soon i promise.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Fantasy

Sir is having me write this entry about what type of scene i would like to do this weekend.....this is a little hard because i am really shy about admitting my desires or fantasies. When it comes to what type of scene i would like to experience....well that's a tough one. lol i think a scene with a lot of bondage would be fun....to explore more objectification and eventual use to include erotic pain mixed with a high dose of pleasure. Maybe slow erotic torture. i have learned that i do not have a lot of patience when it comes to masturbating although i have gotten better. To delve deeper into the image that comes across is this.

i am completely naked except for the cuffs on my wrists and ankles. He has me tied up with my head down and my ass up. my legs are tied so that they are spread wide open.....i cannot move them, even to adjust slightly. my wrists are bound together behind my back with the rope heading up to the ceiling....pulling on my wrists so that my arms are pulled straight behind my back. my Master is kind enough to provide a pillow for my head, to keep my neck from hurting. i am open, in every way, nothing hidden...formed almost like a piece of art....something for Him to just enjoy looking at if that is what pleases Him to do. After i am settled into position, He walks away without saying a word. The next thing i hear is Him doing something in the kitchen and then walking back to the room i am in and then gives me a light spanking. When He is finished, He tells me that i am good girl and then proceeds to sit down on His computer, seeming to ignore me completely. From time to time He comes and plays with me, uses me, praises me and then leaves me again. Sometimes He even just stays in the same room to read or perhaps talk on the phone. Sometimes He does is so slow and erotic....never hard or fast enough for what my body seems to be craving and sometimes it is erotic pain, pushing my boundaries and my submission. i think my mind even wants to sneak in the image of my Master using my body to please Himself.. ::major blushing:: ...i know that my body is for His use, but i think for this scene every aspect of His actions instills that feeling of being His play thing, an object of His passing interest, more and more deeply. i will admit that the entire scene in my head is around objectification. Since He brought the term to light (in a way i had not thought of), i am curious to explore what could be done with it. i know that i have not incorporated emotions into this....but i am not really sure to how i would react to all of that happening. To think of this actually happening does make me nervous....excited but pretty nervous all the same. i know that my submission would be used and that it is an erotic thought for me to not only be used as my Master's personal toy, but to be treated like His toy as well. At least for that scene......to be honest i do not think i would enjoy being treated like that all the time but i think it would be great to expand a little more on the concept and such. i think that being seemingly ignored (i know that He would be checking in on me to make sure i was okay often) could push me emotionally after a period of time....i know that my submission would be stretched and used....the entire time really. my boundaries with erotic pain could very well also be a factor and i am pretty sure that i would have to use my submission to ward off impatience if Sir decided to..oh say, use my cu*t with a dildo but going really slow or not inserting it all the way in. i have tried that on myself...thus how i have learned that i can have little patience with that. lol Overall i am not sure how my Master would desire to push or use me but it is a rather interesting, exciting and admittedly a bit nerve wracking too, to think about how He would change it up to fit His desires. Part of me can't believe i actually put all of this down!! lol Objectification....i never thought it would be something that would appeal to some part of me but as always, unless i am willing to open myself up to my Master and new experiences i will never find out. Although i am pretty sure that this is something that does appeal to me a great deal, i think the exploration of it would probably be trying at times but a lot of fun as well.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Acceptance

Can someone be too accepting? i am not really sure....i think it is a fine line....or maybe not even that. i know, that's confusing so let me explain. i don't think it is really a matter of how accepting a sub is but rather why. A sub will submit to their Dom/me because that is what their Dom/me desires at the time. The sub wishes only to please Them. Therefore, a sub has to accept the situation by using her submission. her desire to please her Dom/me overrides her discomfort or their mental/emotional instincts. Like the time Sir was using the rubber band.....i had to fight the instinct to move away. i had to accept not only the pain from the rubber band but the fact that that is what Sir wanted to do at the time. There have been other times when i have had to use the same process. A couple of day's ago Sir told me that i was to stop masturbating, that i was back on restriction. i readily agreed and wasn't even upset over it. i reacted that particular way because i know that Sir does things for His reasons and as Sir told me, i look at the big picture not the small things. Which is true for the most part. Although admittedly, i did miss masturbating after 2 days. lol But my mindset was that of knowing that my stopping was by His decision.......by obeying Him i was happy and i am always assured the my Master has His reasons for doing something, even if i do not know them at the time. However, i think that if a sub feels "numb" about something, like she couldn't care either way then i think that would be a problem. To me that says that she does not care what happens to her, that she is entering the "robot zone". Not a good thing i think. i have spoken with many subs, all of which say that even though they will obey their Doms/Masters, they still think and certainly feel for what they are doing. i think that thinking about it is what makes subs so nervous in the first place! lol i am sure that in some dynamics the Dom/me wants complete unthinking obedience but i do not think i would be happy that way. i accept what ever my Master wants even though it makes me nervous or uncomfortable because it makes Him happy and pleased. Which in turn makes me happy as well. But if i became indifferent about doing something, if i automatically simply said yes Sir without thought to how this action will effect me i do not see how i could be happy about pleasing Him and knowing my Master he would quickly grow bored of our dynamic. Always wanting to do what someone else wants to do i think is another fine line. i think that there are probably quite a few views on this matter, both from a BDSM and vanilla standpoint. Hmmm...lots to think on. Anyone else have any other views??