Monday, January 14, 2008

Forging a submissive mindset::Pain & Pleasure

i giggled.....i couldn't help was the only thing my frantic brain would allow me to do. i calmly (as possible) looked at Sir and said how cool i thought the perch looked. In side, i was a trembling mass of nerves. As i moved to stand over the harley, Master leaned over to adjust it so it was right against my cu*t. Just having it sit there, knowing what it would do to me, my emotions running at high speed and uncertain of what would happen made me feel off kilter, even more so than before. i wasn't sure if this was going to be a punishment or if this was Master using me but i soon found out. After i was positioned the way Master decided and the harley was firmly against my cu*t, Sir grabbed some rope and proceed to my legs so that i could not move away from the perch. i was on my tiptoes the entire time and was soon finding out how hard it could be to stay that way. At the time, my mind was going "this isn't so bad.....just stay relaxed every where else but your legs and omg.....i really can't move!" While Master finished tying my legs, i took a couple of deep breaths trying to stay my nerves and thoughts. When He was finished, Master looked at me, grinned with that "just-you-wait" grin and said something to the effect that He remembered that i asked to try the harley on high. All i could do was swallow, my eyes closing and the giggle from nerves that was in my throat erupted. i simply replied "yes Sir" as i was sure no other words were needed. Master turned the harley on high and my body, even though i was tied, tried to jump away. Constant arousal and no cumming (my body was just being "off" this visit for some reason) made my cu*t so sensitive, that for a second, i thought i was going to cum immediately. But i didn't, so instead it continued to cause a whole load of sensations. my mind had become blank.....all i could think was "" i moaned, squirmed and tensed up. i became very thankful that Master did not tie my hands about me head, for my hands ended up grabbing the perch. All in an attempt to breath and hold on to something. lol For the most part, i was staying on my toes pretty well, feeling the sensations from the vibe when Master effectively threw me off balance yet again. i was standing, focusing on staying on my toes when i felt the stingy flogger on my back. my concentration broke, my weight fell on the vibe. The sensations from the vibe increased so much so fast and the sting of the flogger was lol It is hard to explain....the flogger hurt...i cried out and then swiftly moaned immediately afterward...that amazing pleasure/pain aspect came into play and within a few strokes i was asking Master if His slut may please have permission to cum for Him. He gave me permission and after i had yelled out with the orgasm i was allowed to have, my body naturally dropped to the floor. Big mistake....i was sensitive and the pressure of my cu*t on the vibe was too much. i gasped and i instantly raised myself back onto my toes to avoid the sting from a slight too much sensations. i wavered a little bit, holding onto the perch for balance. (Actually i pretty much held onto the perch the entire time-lol) Even though i was on my toes (as much as i could be) the harley was still hitting my cu*t. However, after about minute, the vibrations turned back into pleasure and i was able to breath just a little bit easier. At the time i was thinking that Master was done with me and that i would be allowed to get down but that was not His intention. He had me still stand there, moaning, slightly shaky, aroused and wet. i can't remember exactly how much time passes....time no longer had any meaning for me. i was just feeling....not thinking to much, just reacting to what was happening. At some point in time, Master went and got the crop and started with the back of my thighs. Ahhhh.....that stung first. my legs would tense up and although at first i was trying to concentrate on my legs, it became the last thing i wanted to think about. Staying on my toes was beginning to hurt...i was feeling a slight burn in my calves and all i wanted to do was put my legs down. i think Master switched back to the flogger for a time and then back to the crop. Whenever Sir does this, i can't seem to keep up (mentally) with what He is doing, which i have learned is one way to make me break down emotionally. Which accounts for what happened. i was completely lost in the feeling of the crop and the harley, the pleasure either inter-mixing or greater than whatever pain my legs and over-sensitive cu*t where feeling, when the urge to cum made itself known. Part of me wasn't sure about cumming but i didn't fight it and i asked Master if i again may have permission to cum for Him. He did not give me permission right away and i grabbed the perch so hard my knuckles turned white...i was panting, trying to breath to not cum unless i had permission. Even in my aroused and foggy brain, i knew i had to try my best to not cum unless Master said i could. He stayed silent for a moment and then said "Do you really need to cum?" i replied in a breathless voice, "yes Sir...please may Your slut cum for You please Sir?" He said "yes chai, you may" and when i started to cum, my weight yet again fell onto the vibe. Goodness....i think i shrieked after i came and came back on my toes faster than i could think. i did not, by any means, want that thing to touch my cu*t at that moment but the way Master had it set up it was anyways. At least it wasn't as intense since i was farther away from it but even then it thrust me to another orgasm building. By that time, all the moving i had done, the ropes had loosed just enough for my cu*t to be able to slide back and forth across the vibe and my hips moved of their own accord. When i realized what i was doing, i stopped but Master said "Go ahead, you may move your hips" and then, it felt like i had no control over my own body. i was panting, moaning, moving....a little sweaty (just a little) and although i was tired, there was no way i could refuse or even object to anything Master wanted of me. By this time, my legs were so tired that it was officially painful to stay on my toes and part of me wanted to just rest. i had my head down, arms on the perch, when the next thing i knew, Sir was standing beside me. He grabbed my hair, pulled me so i was facing Him and asked in a hard and commanding tone "Do you want to cum for Me?" i looked at Him, all pretenses and defenses gone and whimpered. i replied "i don't know Sir......" "Do you feel another orgasm building?" i whimpered again..."yes Sir" He let go and i put myself again closer to the perch. It was then (i think) that the vibe had somewhat moved so Master moved it back and bam! There it was, fully hitting my cu*t and i yelped, moaned and shuddered. i was constantly making noise, unable to hold anything back, when Master stood behind me, grabbed my hips and pressed His crotch against my very hot, very wet, bare ass. i could feel the hardness from His cock and my eyes rolled back into my head. Too erotic and had i been able to formulate words in a coherent manner, i would have begged for Him to fuck me. my body moved against His jeans, seeking further contact, His hands on my hips, helping my hips move up and down was so very erotic.... Sir's hands tightened. In a low, hard, intense tone of voice He said to me "Do you feel that? That is what your submission does for me." All i can say, i was soooo gone. i was no longer there mentally...i felt.....without a single doubt in the entire world, completely, utterly, owned. As in all i could feel was that i was His, my entire being leaning on His instructions. my legs were hurt to simply move, my stomach was feeling sore from standing up for so long and cumming, my whole body felt fatigued but this is what Master wanted and i couldn't resist anything. my brain was foggy from pain and pleasure, earlier instances had left me feeling open before Master even told me to get into the dungeon and i was just......bare. i kept moving against Him, against the vibe when i had to ask for permission to cum. Master gave permission and i screamed. ::grin:: i'll admit it, i did. It was intense and harsh, my whole body releasing any energy i had left in that one action. As soon as my orgasm was over, Sir somehow appeared by my side and the words flew out of my mouth before i could think of them. " more Sir" my breath was shaky, my whole body tense. i could feel every bit of pain and i dreaded having another orgasm. i was tired.....and although i knew that my simple plea may not convince Him to let me stop, i was very grateful when Master said in a soft tone, "yes, you can stop now" i raised myself on very shaky and weak legs while Sir turned off the vibe and lowered it, so that i could lower my body to the floor. Even though i wanted to drop, i stayed in position until Master said i could lower myself. He untied my legs and gave me a hand, so that i may step off the perch. i was quiet....sinking into myself.....feeling that mindset of total obedience. As He led me out of the dungeon i was unsure of what would happen next, but i soon found out what else Master desired to do.