Wednesday, November 28, 2007

20 seconds

i just finished my nightly ritual. With the new addition, which is doing my positions, holding each position for a slow count of 20 seconds. After going through my positions i then do my 15 minutes of meditation in position 6. has been stressful lately, something in which we all know can happen. Tonight, i stayed in pos.1 and held it. 20 seconds came and gone.....all i did was stay there and breath. Struggled to find that place within me....the place that is beyond the chaos which is sometimes my life. i know i could have just did my count to 20 and then switch positions but i was yearning, needing that deep seeded calmness that resides within my submission. i don't feel "out of whack" often but when i do, it seems to all but consumes me. So i waited and then the image of my Master, sitting and gently smiling came to mind. i felt my body slowly settle in position, my mind started to slow as my entire self fully focused on my submission to Him. It was then that i switched positions. As i went through each position, the gentle intensity within me grew until by the time i hit position 5 i was fully within that wonderful place which Sir has guided me to. my eyes were closed, breath deep and even with images in my head of sitting by His feet, with His hand stroking my hair. With each continuing position my body would flow from one transition to the next, almost like a dance of sorts. Still kept my count of 20 seconds but i just let myself float as much as possible. (in r/l the emotions are infinitely more intense and longer lasting) When i went into my meditation position, i lost track of time. i just let myself feel and for whatever reason affirmations went running through my head, although instead of thinking them, i found myself answering them out loud. Words are powerful and even now my mind is calm and focused. i didn't think about yesterday or tomorrow....the only thing that was on my mind was the simple joy i get from pleasing my Master and how happy i am being His. i am not sure how tomorrow will be but i figure i will let it figure itself out on it's own. lol 20 seconds isn't a long time, indeed it is very short but sometimes 20 seconds is all you need.