Monday, November 12, 2007


This entry comes from a letter that my Master suggested i write to another slave about what i think a poly dynamic should entail. When discussing a poly dynamic with other subs or people in general, sometimes it is difficult to decide which attribute or aspect to approach first. i think the number one thing on my list is friendship between all three of us. There have been a few subs that either He or i or both have spoken to that only seem interested in Him. Of course my view is that both subs/slaves should be focused on Him but also think that a relationship between her and i should be strong as well. In my mind a sister sub would pretty much be one of my best friends....someone i am fond of and genuinely care about and vise versa. i would like to be able to confide in her and be able to share experiences with her, to be able to go out and have coffee with His permission. Also, being able to serve my Master beside another sub who feels the depth of her submission and wishes to explore it is another wonderful aspect. There are so many things that i would love to explore with a sister sub that i respect and am friends with.
Within a poly dynamic i see that truthfully there would be 4 parts. There would be the relationship between Master and her, He and i, she and i and then the dynamic that all three of us would share. i see it as there would be a different relationship between my Master and her and Him and i since our (the subs) needs, likes and dislikes would be different. That is a natural occurrence and one i think should not cause jealousy. That seems to be a concern with most subs/slaves i have spoken to and that concern is not without some merit. Although i think that with good communication between all three people that can be avoided. No doubt, a poly dynamic would not always be easy but i truly think that the rewards would be more than worth the effort.
In response to my letter, she raised the concern of being confided in and yet telling Sir all that was said in our conversation. That too is important and i wrote back to her stating that i agreed for there is nothing i should tell her that my Master does not already know or should not be aware of. i think that could also be problematic....there have been times i have needed to sort out a problem with someones help. Really to just need a third persons perspective or to vent. So i see her concern as a valid one. Where do you draw the line at having a conversation with someone, knowing that they just need to vent and having a conversation that has an important tone that effects the dynamic? Is there even a line there really? i guess there are quite a few questions and situations that could occur but playing "what if" i think may be a waste of time. The best possible thing to do (in my opinion) would be to take it one day at a time and see what happens. But as i stated to the sub i wrote, the rewards would be worth the energy and time spent.


luv4pashn said...

i believe it is helpful, especially in the beginning, if the 3rd recognizes her place as "beta." A beta will not work if she doesn't value the established relationship/diad as primary/priority. The submissive in this situation is wonderfully helpful in understanding Sir and his quirks, preferences etc. Good luck in all you seek!

luv4pashn (from collarme)

chai said...

Hey luv4pashn,
i just wanted to write to say thank you for the advice on my blog....i wish more would comment or leave advice since sometimes it can be really helpful. your advice on whichever sub joins my Master's and mine dynamic is certainly appreciated and it does make sense. Thank you also for wishing us good luck in our search and i hope the same for you in your jouney as well.
Warm wishes,

James said...

Sounds very exciting. Tricky, to be sure, but potentially a great experience. Good luck!!
By the way, do you ever go on There have probably been dozens of forum threads on this topic over the years, and it seems that more are always welcome. I agree that having a clear hierarchy among subs can be helpful/erotic, though of course that arrangement isn't for everyone.

chai said...

Hi James,
Thank you for your thoughts and well wishes. i rarely visit any more. i will ask Sir if i might check out some of the threads dealing with poly households. You are very right that it isn't for everyone and definately is something that needs to be constantly nurtured to avoid potential problems. i am very excited to soon be brining rabbit to meet my Master. We will see where it will lead us. chai