Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Today Sir had me start back with my butt plug training for our up coming visit. i am to put it in every time i do my meditation for 15 minutes, in the morning and at night. This morning was day 1 and although Sir has given me a couple of tasks to do with my butt plug, it had been a while since i had it in and just felt it there. It took a little bit to get it in and that feeling of being stretched was most apparent, yet enjoyable in it's own way. i wasn't going anywhere or doing anything so my mind was completely focused on my submission and the feeling of the plug in my ass. Somewhere around the 10 minute mark, my mind started to go in different directions. Part of me wanted to take it out, i think mostly because all i could do was feel the fullness without being able to move and the other part of me thought about what it felt like to move the plug in and out. i had to take a deep breath, re-focus myself and use my submission. i couldn't and wouldn't take the plug out, even though it felt a little uncomfortable and i definitely wasn't going to masturbate. i had in my mind that this is something Sir wanted me to do, even if it was a little uncomfortable at first. So i just stayed there kneeling and focused on my submission, what it meant to me, how it has grown and how thankful i am to have Sir to guide and teach me. The thought of Him using me popped into my mind which i tried to ignore....i have been thinking of servicing Him, submitting to His desires and how He uses me for His pleasure enough without the plug in. lol One thing that did cross my mind when thinking of how my submission has grown was exploring golden showers with Sir and how i look forward to exploring that further. i would say that i also thought of how my perception of submission has changed...well maybe not really changed but grown in it's understanding of what it means to me. So all of these thoughts were what i was concentrating on during my meditation. Re-starting my butt plug training is something that Sir desired me to do and i am very happy that i can please Him in this manner, by doing as i am told everyday, keeping up with my daily rituals and of course in any way that i can and in this case, my butt plug training during my meditation. More to unfold i am sure and i cannot wait until my visit!