Sunday, September 30, 2007

Sour Grapes

After Sir and i had woken up ( the rain had let up and Sir decided that He wanted to go to a friends house to visit. Now Sir and i have been or have met up with His friends before, but this particular person and everyone there, were completely vanilla and they did not know of Sir's lifestyle. Not that He was my Master, or i His slave, to them i was just a friend of His visiting for a couple of days. This did not bother me at all....what did set me a little of balance and made me a bit nervous was the fact that i was going to have to suppress every single natural and trained response i have. Also, if i absolutely had to, i was to address Him as W. In this situation this was easier to do than the time Sir had me call Him by His name over the phone....this time it was because of the situation i was in....sort of like when i have had to call the airline for Him. my brain just made the adjustment. When we approached His friend's house and saw other people outside that we did not know, i thought that it would be interesting to see how i did. As we were introduced to everyone there i became a little more relaxed and just spoke to people. i was still very quiet though, a natural response to being around strangers. As the conversations around me flew, i was grateful that not many people seemed interested in speaking to me. The people around us were talking about travel and such and i heard some rather interesting stories. Overall it was a wonderful time. However, since i could not serve Sir in the manner in which i was used to, i instead looked at His glass of wine to see if it needed to be filled and when He got something to eat, i got His plate for Him. One time i called Him Sir, although He did not hear me, which means no one else did either, something for which i was grateful. During the conversations, there were a couple of dogs around and one seemed to take a liking to Sir. i found myself envying the dog in between His legs, wishing i could be there instead. Not because i wish i was dog but rather because i am used to being a able to lean against Sir or be near Him when i am nervous. After the conversation had dwindled and most people left, Sir's friend took us on a little tour of the vineyard and i got to speak with his wife. she asked SO many questions, questions in which i had to answer carefully but in the end it turned out okay. The whole vanilla event was trying in some ways...not being able to address my Master as Sir, or be able to serve Him as i love to, was a little hard. That and going from a very intense scene and M/s cuddle time to a complete vanilla setting was a huge contrast in a short span of time. But even in the midst of having to act completely vanilla, i still served Sir in may ways. By following His instructions alone was a way that i served Him and i am happy that i was able to do so. Yet another different, interesting aspect of the weekend.


Sir said...

chai, I just wanted to acknowledge your 100th blog entry. I am very proud of you. Even though you and I discuss and talk about all I have you do, reading your journal always gives me additional insight into your thoughts and emotions. Following your journey through your honest, heartfelt and descriptive narrative is always a joy to read. Keep up the wonderful work. Sir

Leighanna said...

Thanks for writing this.