Monday, October 22, 2007


Sir is having me write this entry about what type of scene i would like to do this weekend.....this is a little hard because i am really shy about admitting my desires or fantasies. When it comes to what type of scene i would like to experience....well that's a tough one. lol i think a scene with a lot of bondage would be explore more objectification and eventual use to include erotic pain mixed with a high dose of pleasure. Maybe slow erotic torture. i have learned that i do not have a lot of patience when it comes to masturbating although i have gotten better. To delve deeper into the image that comes across is this.

i am completely naked except for the cuffs on my wrists and ankles. He has me tied up with my head down and my ass up. my legs are tied so that they are spread wide open.....i cannot move them, even to adjust slightly. my wrists are bound together behind my back with the rope heading up to the ceiling....pulling on my wrists so that my arms are pulled straight behind my back. my Master is kind enough to provide a pillow for my head, to keep my neck from hurting. i am open, in every way, nothing hidden...formed almost like a piece of art....something for Him to just enjoy looking at if that is what pleases Him to do. After i am settled into position, He walks away without saying a word. The next thing i hear is Him doing something in the kitchen and then walking back to the room i am in and then gives me a light spanking. When He is finished, He tells me that i am good girl and then proceeds to sit down on His computer, seeming to ignore me completely. From time to time He comes and plays with me, uses me, praises me and then leaves me again. Sometimes He even just stays in the same room to read or perhaps talk on the phone. Sometimes He does is so slow and erotic....never hard or fast enough for what my body seems to be craving and sometimes it is erotic pain, pushing my boundaries and my submission. i think my mind even wants to sneak in the image of my Master using my body to please Himself.. ::major blushing:: ...i know that my body is for His use, but i think for this scene every aspect of His actions instills that feeling of being His play thing, an object of His passing interest, more and more deeply. i will admit that the entire scene in my head is around objectification. Since He brought the term to light (in a way i had not thought of), i am curious to explore what could be done with it. i know that i have not incorporated emotions into this....but i am not really sure to how i would react to all of that happening. To think of this actually happening does make me nervous....excited but pretty nervous all the same. i know that my submission would be used and that it is an erotic thought for me to not only be used as my Master's personal toy, but to be treated like His toy as well. At least for that be honest i do not think i would enjoy being treated like that all the time but i think it would be great to expand a little more on the concept and such. i think that being seemingly ignored (i know that He would be checking in on me to make sure i was okay often) could push me emotionally after a period of time....i know that my submission would be stretched and used....the entire time really. my boundaries with erotic pain could very well also be a factor and i am pretty sure that i would have to use my submission to ward off impatience if Sir decided to..oh say, use my cu*t with a dildo but going really slow or not inserting it all the way in. i have tried that on myself...thus how i have learned that i can have little patience with that. lol Overall i am not sure how my Master would desire to push or use me but it is a rather interesting, exciting and admittedly a bit nerve wracking too, to think about how He would change it up to fit His desires. Part of me can't believe i actually put all of this down!! lol Objectification....i never thought it would be something that would appeal to some part of me but as always, unless i am willing to open myself up to my Master and new experiences i will never find out. Although i am pretty sure that this is something that does appeal to me a great deal, i think the exploration of it would probably be trying at times but a lot of fun as well.