Sunday, August 12, 2007

Say My Name, Say My Name

This is an entry that stemmed from a conversation with Sir.....and how i did something i have never done before. i addressed Sir by His given name. That was very new. This came about because He and i were talking over the phone and looking at past chat conversations on Yahoo. i told Him that it was funny that even when we first started speaking (before He took me on as His submissive), i never addressed Him by His name. The subs we have spoken with together in the recent past are always told by Sir to address Him by His name.....come to think of it, i don't think He ever requested of it me. As i look back in our first conversations and the first couple of blog entries, i had written that the road to my submission had already started, i just didn't realize it. How true that was, now that i think back on it. Even back then, for some reason, i could not bring myself to call Him by His name. Well continuing with my recent conversation, Sir and i chatted about that fact for a little bit and then He told me to say "hello W". i froze....all i could think was "Is He serious?? Omg... He is....Sir really wants me to address Him as W." i started giggling and i just couldn't stop....i told Sir that i felt uncomfortable doing that to which He replied "Well it's not like you have any choice in the matter huh?" then He laughed. i had my knees drawn up to my chest and i tried to form His name with my mouth silently which just came out as a stutter of the first few letters of His name lol Sir at one point in time even had to tell me that i was not going to get into any trouble since He was telling me to do it. To help me out Sir gave me a sentence i could repeat.... He suggested i say "if You do not mind W i would rather call You Sir." Well that was a truthful statement i could make and after giggling for a few more seconds i steadied myself and as calmly as i could said "If You do not mind W i would rather call You Sir." Sir then said, "That wasn't so hard now was it?" my silence and then giggles had Him laughing once again. He then said that this would be a good blog entry so here i am writing all about it. i think that one of the reasons why i am so uncomfortable with calling Him by His given name is because He has been Sir in my mind for so long. To even call Him by His given name just doesn't feel doesn't feel bad, it just doesn't sit right. i think perhaps because i never addressed Him as W in our first conversations may be one of the reasons why i am not comfortable doing so now. When i have had to call the airlines for Him, i have had to use Sir's name, but my mind set was just different. In some ways i am a little surprised at my reaction and how strong it was and in other ways i am not, now that i have had time to really think about it. Sir is my friend, guide, protector, teacher, and above all my Dominant. To address Him by name felt like a breach of protocol. For me, personally, i would only see myself doing that in a vanilla relationship.....which Sir and i definitely are not. It is very true that we share wonderful vanilla moments, which i do cherish very much and we go out on what could be called dates, but i never forget my place at His side and Sir is always Sir. So to bring this to a close, calling Him by His given name was interesting to say the least and it did try my submission. i had to get over the nervous, uncomfortable feeling from doing so and do as He told me to. So i was able to do it but truthfully, i would be happy not having to do that again. i am Sir's submissive, soon to be His slave. So addressing Him with the proper respect as i have been trained by addressing Him as Sir is something i have gained a greater appreciation for today. Just goes to show that i never know when my submission will be tried (in any form) or when i will learn something new.