Friday, August 31, 2007

slave collar

Since i know that this is something that everyone is wanting to read and i want to write about it so badly, here goes. As you all know by now, i am now officially Sir's slave. Mmmm....i love that. lol How this came about was not done in an elaborate ceremony, but rather in a way i had not imagined it to be honest. It was day 2 at Sir's house and we were sitting on His couch in silence, just enjoying each others presence. i was sitting there looking at His hands, sometimes touching them and was in a sub mindset that of contemplation. His hand's are large and yet so soft and i was a bit amazed in some ways how His hands, as soft as they are, can be so gentle, caring and soothing and yet bring me to such a submissive mindset by putting His hand in my hair or on my neck as well as erotic pain. i am not sure why my mind focused on His hands so much, i just did. Then came one of those moments, it was very much like the time when i asked Sir if i may have permission to become His submissive. i just felt something just clicked and it felt completely right. However, i also knew Sir was tired and He just wanted to relax. That and i was so nervous.... and excited and's kind of hard to explain really. It wasn't like i didn't already know the answer, it was just that verbalizing it was hard to do. i kept looking at Sir, over and over and He commented on it and i told Him that i was tiptoe-ing. When i looked at Him again, His eyes were closed and He had a big smile on His face. He knew what i was thinking and He knew what i was trying to do! lol In some ways that made it worse yet made me feel better as well. i kept burying my head into Him (something which i have come to realize i do when i am feeling vulnerable) and finally took a deep breath, and asked Sir if i may please have permission to become His slave. my voice sounded small even to my heart was pounding but it felt so good to say those words with certainty and care. Sir said something about that not being so hard and even had me giggling. To the best of my memory, Sir then had me look at Him while He told me that a collar was just a symbol, that slavery had to come from the mind and from the heart. i agreed completely and then Sir let me snuggle back up close to Him. He then asked me "What are you chai?" i was finally able to respond with "i am Your slave Sir." Sir then asked me if i would like to go and get the purple bag out of the guest room that had the new collar in it and instead of jumping up and down to go and get it, i asked Sir if i may please just stay next to Him for a few moments longer. It was one of those times when my emotional and mental being was focused solely on Sir. Focused on my Master. i didn't want to leave His warmth or that cocoon i seemed to be wrapped up in. i was content just saying i was His slave, having it confirmed and Sir giving His permission. Just wonderful i think. So that night, Sir did not put on the slave collar waiting patiently in the purple bag. That happened the next day and i was SO excited and smiling from ear to ear. As you all have seen, it is a beautiful collar and i must admit i got the butterflies (good ones) when He had me take off my old one and lift my hair so He could slip it on and then screw it shut. Sir is right, a collar does not a slave make....even without it, i would still be Sir's slave in every sense of the word. my place is at my Master's side or at His feet as long as He desires me there, collar or not. But to be honest, when i am feeling down or my day has been really rough and sometimes just because, i reach up and touch it......and smile.