Monday, May 14, 2007

Apologies and Respect part 2

i finished my punishment last night. it was horrible...not only did i know that i had made a mistake but standing there in front of my mirror completely naked was also a visual reminder. i kept flipping back and forth between high emotional distress to high mental distress to a lot more physical pain than i am used to (keeping my arms up was hard after 10 minutes) to a numbing sensation where it didn't hurt and my arms kept slipping and i had to put them back up. It was also hard because i know i could have not done my punishment and lied, but i did not want to. i am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that i wanted my punishment, if only for the reason because Sir gave it to me. i don't like being punished, but i wanted it. It is just an odd concept for me to figure out i suppose. In that way, when i think about my submission, it has been made stronger and more beautiful through my punishment. It serves me well to listen to and trust Sir in everything i do.