Sunday, May 13, 2007

my journey in words

A fire in a frozen gem, was once how i described my submission to Sir. He has asked me to write about my submission to Him, for all to read. This is something done gladly, for i believe those who read this will either be able to relate, or they will hopefully gain some understanding of my journey. Let me say first, my submission is all about giving my time, my energy, my thoughts, my mind and body, and even more so, my control, to Him. This is something i have done willingly, and will continue to do so for it makes me feel happy and complete. The desire to submit to Him is great, i always want to find ways to show my submission, to take and feel my submission deeper everyday. It is a longing, a burning deep within. my submission to Him is beautiful, strong, and true. When i first started on this journey (as you will read), my submission was incredibly child-like in it's view and in it's growth. A part of that still remains when i say that the core of my submission is innocence, gentleness and trust. These may be words not always attached to this lifestyle, but believe me when i say that they are there. my desireto please is an innocent desire, i do so because i simply wish to please Him. There are no hidden agendas, or trying to get what i desire, in fact quite the opposite, His desires come before my own. my submission is heartfelt and deep as it continuously grows as a flower does. There is a deep joy within my submission, to please and serve, that is not always easily described. i close my eyes, and i feel humbled, for i know that He allows me to serve Him, i am excited for i know He will help me fly, and i am safe because i know He will catch me when i fall. my submission gives me the power to do things i have never been able to do before, to find that place of contentment, to give Him the power to have me feel different things, to be set free in ways i have never imagined. When i give up my control, He creates a safe harbor for me, a place where i may lose control as He wills, where there is no shame or embarassment, for i am simply doing what He desires me to do. As my submission grows, i know that there will be more lessons, and they may not always be easy to learn. i do know however, that the deeper and stronger my submission grows, i will be even further driven into that space of contentment and peace, and therefore any lesson i receive i will thank Him for. What follows are journal entries back dated to January when i met Sir. To me they are the most significant events thus far in my training.